


The ButterShark Effect

by SparklingGanymede



Category: Free!
Genre: Blurry Dick Pics, Copious Amounts of Sibling Fluff, Free! Kink Meme, M/M, Masturbation, Morning Wood, Reckless Driving, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sexting, Some Actual Swimming Wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:48:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklingGanymede/pseuds/SparklingGanymede
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's said that the slightest change in the beat of a butterfly's wings can ripple the course of the wind into a raging hurricane.</p><p>Basically, Rin tries his hand at sexting and accidentally sends a picture of his dick to Rei. Shit gets real.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this prompt](http://iwatobiswimclub.dreamwidth.org/1985.html?thread=1841345#cmt1841345) from the kinkmeme.
> 
> Somebody really ought to introduce Rin to Snapchat.

“Going out tonight?”

Aiichirou looked up from the glowing screen of his phone to his sullen roommate, still laying on the bottom bunk staring blankly at the wall the way he had been for the past twenty minutes.

Rin did that a lot, he noticed.

“Yeah, um.” Aiichirou paused to quickly finish the text he was typing and then shoved it in his back pocket. “Some of the guys were going to go—”

“Yeah, that's great, Ai,” Rin interrupted flippantly with a dismissive hand wave. “You know what? You have fun. And don't even worry about getting back late.”

Aiichirou's heart leapt upon hearing his nickname, filling him with a hesitant sort of hope that just maybe... “You could come with us,” he suggested. “I'm sure no one would mind.”

Rin snorted and looked Aiichirou dead in the eyes. “No, thanks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Then, whatever it was Rin found so interesting on the wall caught his attention again, leaving Aiichirou wondering if he had said something wrong. The other boy's behavior had been so erratic lately that he could never be sure.

“Oh... okay then,” he conceded. He worried at his bottom lip a little with his teeth and tried not to look too much like a kicked puppy.

Rin's reclusiveness had improved after the bizarre stunt he pulled with Iwatobi's team at the relay, but convincing him to leave their room for any group socialization was still a challenge. Aiichirou sighed and chalked it up to Rin needing more time to recover from his... whatever it was he was going through.

“Well. If you change your mind, just text me.”

“Gotcha.”

Save for the subtle motions of his breathing, Rin remained perfectly still, the slightest frown touching his lips. A period of awkward silence stretched wherein Aiichirou stood waiting, eyes boring a hole through the floor as if he actually expected Rin to consider changing his mind. When he finally made for the door, the pop and squeak of shifting on the mattress and the frantic rustle of sheets recaptured his attention.

“Ai?”

Rin sounded more tired than irritated, Aiichirou decided, peering over his shoulder to find the older boy propped up on his elbows. “Yes?”

“How long do you think you'll be gone?” he asked, eyes sweeping the lines of Aiichirou's face and then drifting back down to the wad of sheets between his knees.

“Uh... I dunno.” Aiichirou fidgeted a bit. “An hour at least? Or two. However long it takes us to finish it, I guess.” He flicked his gaze to the phone gripped under Rin's right hand. “Why?”

“Oh, no reason, really.” The redhead kept his normally expressive face a mask of cool neutrality, slumping back into his pillow. “See ya later.”

“Yeah, see ya,” Aiichirou said, brow furrowed in concern as he exited the room, and closed the door lightly behind him.

Rin could be so weird sometimes.

* * *

As soon as the door clicked shut, Rin pulled himself back up into a full sitting position and let out a heavy sigh of relief.

_Finally._

He enjoyed his roommate's company, honest, but there were times when he really needed Aiichirou to be somewhere else for more than five minutes. Because some things you just can't do with another person in the room, especially if that person is sleeping in a bed connected to yours. It had been a long, particularly frustrating week, and several days without releasing some tension had set him on edge in all the worst ways, more so when human interaction was involved. Having been given the opportunity at last, Rin intended to do something about it immediately, furiously, and as many times as possible before Aiichirou got back.

Before engaging in any fun activities, however, he made it a priority to close the curtains and lock the door to prevent some idiot from walking in on him while he was taking care of business, and he'd be damned before he let his precious alone time be interrupted. His second priority was selecting a willing participant from the contacts on his phone. Because being physically alone didn't necessarily mean he couldn't share his acute arousal with somebody else, and what were friends for? After all was said and done, he quite liked having the Iwatobi boys back in his life, and puberty had been so very, very kind to all of them.

Scrolling through the numbers on his screen, he skipped over Haruka's immediately. Assface never had his phone on him. Makoto was tempting, but also a no. Odds were too high he was either hanging out with Haruka or minding his little twin siblings, which would mean zero chance of any worthwhile exchanges. Nagisa, on the other hand...

Yeah, he could do Nagisa. Sure, the diminutive freshman could seem a little oblivious at times, but Rin highly suspected it was merely an act meant to throw people off. Because, seriously? There was no way in hell a guy who trespassed onto another school's property in the middle of the night and shamelessly jumped buck naked into their pool could be that fucking clueless.

With a smile that could put razors to shame, Rin stripped off his shirt and jeans like greased lightning and slung them over a rung on the bunk ladder. Every second with his dick tonight counted, and he planned on wasting none of them. The rush had already given him a semi, which he palmed through the thin fabric of his boxers as he considered whether the angle of his erection would look better sitting or standing, and then decided he'd rather lay seductively against his pillow. Even if the recipient wouldn't see that part.

He could strike a sexy pose for his own benefit, couldn't he?

So, he shimmied out of his boxers, threw them in the general direction of where the rest of his clothes were without caring where they landed, and dove into bed. It didn't take long to stroke himself to full hardness, the weighty feeling of his own stiffening cock beneath his fingers exciting him all the more. He almost changed his mind about texting Nagisa in favor of feeding his impulse to _finish now_ , rough and fast and desperate, but as the first drop of precum rolled down to his knuckles, he thought better of it and, reluctantly, loosened his grip. His time was limited, but that didn't mean he had to spend himself all at once.

Flushed and already beginning to sweat, he took in a few haggard breaths before grabbing his phone to take a preemptive dick pic. The lighting of the room gave the tip a glistening sheen at a certain angle. So, feeling it made a nice touch, Rin cupped his length to position it just right with the camera. The picture blurred a bit, but he didn't care to bother taking another since it was at least recognizable as a male genital, and that was what really counted.

Without paying nearly enough attention to the name he selected, he typed up a little something to get the ball rolling.

**Sent! (21:25** ) Yo, babe. You up? Because I know I am. ;)

* * *

The sudden vibration of his phone sent it creeping across his beautifully-organized trigonometry notes. Startled from deep concentration in calculating the tangent of something or other, Rei reflexively slapped his hand over the buzzing device to keep it from careening over the edge of his desk. It took a few seconds for his train of thought to switch tracks from variables to _someone sent me a message_.

It took even longer for him to process being called “babe” by the sender. He and Rin had made nice on their own after regionals, even advanced to addressing each other on a given name-basis at the next joint swim practice, but the endearment felt a little... misplaced. Still, seeing how affectionate the guy could be with his old teammates when he wasn't in despair and kicking over waste baskets, Rei considered the possibility that this was simply how he spoke to people he considered friends.

He made a mental note to ask Nagisa about it later and typed his reply.

**Sent! (21:31)** Yes. Do you need something?

He didn't want to sound presumptive, but his past experiences indicated that Rin texting him at night strongly correlated with meeting at some obscure location to make emotional confessions that could just as easily have been shared over text, and he really didn't have the time or energy for that at the moment.

The response was almost immediate.

**Rin-san (21:32)** Well, since you asked...

Attached was a slightly blurry snapshot of an erect penis, cradled proudly in the hand of its owner. He couldn't quite see the full length of it, but the head extended about a thumb's length over the edge of the palm.

Rei nearly dropped the phone as he shot up from his desk chair to slam the door shut and clapped a hand over his mouth to keep from shouting any one of his racing thoughts. Because the last thing he needed was his family barging in to ask what was going on.

“What the _fuck_ , Rin?” he exclaimed aloud anyway. And then he typed it, ugly expletive and all, into his phone and pressed send.

Sudden dick pic wasn't even on the list of likely answers he had expected, and his mind was reeling from the possible implications.

* * *

Still laying in his bunk, Rin idly stroked himself to keep from getting soft, wearing a toothy, lecherous grin as he waited for the reaction. He didn't have to wait long before a familiar buzz announced a new message. 

**Rei (21:34)** What the FUCK, Rin??

His grin quickly faded to a confused pout. That was exactly not the reaction he wanted. Despite all that had happened after his return from Australia, he thought for sure that he and Nagisa had at least...

And then he noticed the name at the top of the screen.

Oh.

_Oh, shit._

That wasn't Nagisa. That was so _definitely_ not Nagisa.

No, that was probably the _worst_ possible misfire he could have made other than accidentally sending it to his own mother.

His hot and heavy arousal trickled into a spine-tingling cold sweat. Any other accidental recipient— _any other_ —he could have easily smoothed things over with, given they were in a good mood. With some effort and profuse apologies otherwise. But Rei? Awkward, nerdy, beautiful Rei?

The friendship was too new. Too fresh, too raw, too delicate. His first impression of Rin was probably “colossal jerkass” and Rin had done precious little to refute that. Their first real interaction was one wrong word away from ending in a fistfight, and despite all the snarky banter and helping him with his butterfly form at joint swim meets, Rin still owed Rei a lot for reconnecting him with his old friends and cluing him in to how unnecessarily stupid he had been acting. Damaging their fragile bond now would probably drive another huge rift between him and the Iwatobi swimmers, and the thought of losing his friends again terrified him in ways that nothing else could.

Then, his phone buzzed again. He hadn't even begun to think of how to reply to the previous text.

**Rei (21:39)** After careful determination, I have concluded that the messages from you must have been sent in error. Please be more careful to check the recipient number before sending messages with photos of that nature attached.

He still couldn't breathe. Rei seemed to have gone from enraged and confused to calm and understanding in less than a minute, but that still didn't change the fact that he had a picture of Rin's dick on his phone. Rin swallowed the growing lump in his throat and exhaled in a huff that definitely didn't sound like a sob. That had been way too close to a disaster he was so not prepared for.

Yet another incoming message vibrated his nervously trembling fingers.

**Rei (21:42)** This is Rei, for future reference. Nagisa-kun didn't tamper with your contacts, did he? He played a terrible joke on me last month by switching up his and Gou-san's numbers in mine. Sometimes he doesn't consider the consequences of his mischief.

Three replies and he still hadn't given Rei an explanation. Rin felt like the biggest idiot in the world. Figuring his “fun time” was over before it had even began, he flopped back against the mattress, jerked the covers up over himself, and glared at the metal spring grating under the top bunk as though it had personally offended him. He carefully considered the best way to word an apology without explicitly mentioning his glistening, rock-hard cock.

Halfway through typing his reply, the phone buzzed again.

**Rei (21:51)** By the way, I would recommend propping your camera against something steady and sitting closer to a light source to ensure a clearer image next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where I'm going with this, ahahahaha. ~~And I really hate how the blockquote text looks with those thick ugly lines, but there's really not a whole hell of a lot I can do about that. Unless you have some sort of coding trick you'd like to divulge, in which case I'm all ears.~~ Never mind, I figured something out.


	2. Nagisa Attempts Deductive Reasoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely zero plot advancement occurs here, I'm sorry. But Nagisa and Gou are added to the story! I swear, I'm setting up for something to actually happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming to post this chapter on Rin's birthday, but then I ended up watching the Super Bowl, which was the greatest football disaster I have ever witnessed.

**Rei-chan (1:56)** This is going to sound strange (please don't get the wrong idea about this!) but is Rin-san currently in a relationship with someone?

 **Rinrin (2:11)** Hey, can I talk to you about something? Mano e mano

Two different texts from two different people, sent to him around the same time the night before. Still in a heady post-dream haze and unsure of the context, Nagisa had yet to answer either. He flipped between the messages a few times and furrowed his brow. Critical thinking wasn't exactly his strong point, but he got the distinct feeling that the two of them were probably related.

Rei wanted to know if Rin was taken for some unspecified reason...

Rin wanted to talk about something, sounded serious...

Nagisa flopped back against his pillow and rolled over to face away from the sunlight glaring through the crack between his curtains. Maybe Gou would know what was going on. If she was awake. He checked the time.

Quarter after eight? Yeah, she was probably awake.

 **Sent! (8:17)** is smthn wrong w/ ur bro again? hes bein all feelsy n rei-chan wants 2 kno if hes bangin any1

Setting his phone on the nightstand, Nagisa reluctantly slid out from under the warm, cloud-like haven between the covers and his mattress and dragged ass towards the bathroom for his morning routine. As he lifted the toilet seat and let fly a stream of piss that could rival Niagara Falls, he pondered the texts again.

Why would Rei want to know if Rin was going out with anyone? What wrong idea was he not supposed to get from that? More importantly, why on earth would Rin come to _him_ for serious one-on-one discussion about... whatever he was having issues with?

If Rin didn't confide in his sister first, it must've been some kind of guy problem. Probably. Nagisa had always thought Makoto was the most approachable and sympathetic of the bunch, so if Rin didn't go to him first... Well, maybe he had, and Makoto just couldn't help him with it. For some reason.

Nagisa shook the stray drop of pee off the end of his dick and tucked himself back in. Then, he pondered some more as he lathered up his hands at the sink.

What subjects did he have special knowledge of or experience with that Makoto didn't? Not sister issues, for sure. Makoto had one of those. Couldn't be girls in general because, as far as Rin knew, neither of them had any prior female encounters of the third kind, so that was out.

He froze in the middle of drying his hands.

Was it _guys_?

Wait, no, that would be stupid. Rin _was_ a guy, so why would he need guy advice? It had to be something else entirely.

As he uncapped his toothpaste, smeared a smidge onto his toothbrush, and got to work on the inside of his mouth, Nagisa ran a mental checklist of all the things he felt qualified to give advice on that Rin would know he was knowledgeable of.

He was pretty damn good at using his cute looks and subtly manipulative compliments as leverage to get people to do what he wanted, and Makoto couldn't talk his way out of a paper bag. So, persuasion. That was something. He considered himself an expert on hiding things, more so than Makoto could ever _hope_ to be. He also had learned how to pick locks and crack combination codes for similar reasons. In a pinch, he had even figured out how to successfully pick a deadbolt and only gotten better at it with each new attempt.

Then, sudden realization hit him like a brick to the face, and Nagisa spit into the sink, slamming his toothbrush back into the cup in the corner. The mirror reflected his devious expression as he stared deeply into his own eyes, sparkling with mischief.

_Breaking and entering._

Rin needed help getting into something.

* * *

It had been ten minutes since her phone chimed, nestled somewhere between her purse and Rin's black hoodie on the opposite end of the couch, but Gou felt no urgent need to check it. She had no idea why her brother had shown up late the night before completely unannounced and looking characteristically upset, but as she ran her fingers through his frankly kind of tangly bedhead in her lap, she figured it best to wait until he brought the subject up himself. If he ever did.

As the Matsuokas quietly bonded in their living room, halfway paying attention to whatever mindless early morning kiddy anime TV Tokyo happened to be airing, Gou found herself dozing off imagining all the different kinds of waffles she wanted to eat but didn't actually feel like making because cooking required effort. Getting up to make waffles would also require disturbing Rin, and he just looked so serene and content.

Or unconscious, if the light snoring and tiny wet patch behind her knee from his drool were any indication.

So, he felt relaxed enough to fall asleep on her leg. On the bright side, he wasn't stressed anymore. That, and Gou was beginning to think Rin had the right idea.

_Chocolate chip with whipped cream and strawberries..._

Not two seconds after her head had completed its gradual descent to the couch's fluffy armrest did Rin's phone on the adjacent end table begin blaring loud, obnoxious techno music that, knowing her brother, was probably full of choice language since the lyrics sounded like they were all in English, though the only words she caught were “have a good time.” The two jolted awake at the sound with the exact precise coordination for the back of Rin's head to connect smartly against Gou's chin as he reached over to answer it.

“Shit!” Rin hissed as he slapped a hand over the growing lump on his head.

Gou screamed wordlessly with her hand tightly covering her mouth. She really, really hoped her tongue wasn't bleeding. 

The phone, caring nothing for their pain, continued to ring. Boiling with rage, Gou impulsively snatched the phone up to note who was calling so she could begin plotting their untimely death. When Nagisa's beaming smile and cutesy peace sign gesture greeted her on the screen, she screamed again, this time into the receiver as she pressed Accept.

* * *

Were he ever asked to describe it, Nagisa would have insisted that the noise on the other end of the line most closely resembled a dying rooster. He quickly removed the phone from his face and glared at it incredulously as though the device itself could explain why it had unleashed such horror into his ear. 

When the morbid crowing ended, he cautiously lifted it back into hearing range. “What the hell? Who _is_ this?!”

The response was mostly a lot of shuffling and grunting. He thought he heard Rin swearing in the background and a muffled female voice slur, “Get your elbow out of my thigh!” Then, someone breathed into the receiver.

“Hello...?” he ventured.

Dead silence. Nagisa briefly wondered if he had been hung up on, but the call time on the screen continued to count up. Two minutes and seventeen seconds. Eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

“Nagisa, this better be good,” Rin's weary rasp finally answered.

“Rinrin!” Nagisa bounced up into a cross-legged sitting position. “What happened? It sounded like there was someone else with you.”

A click, and then Rin sighed heavily. “That was just Gou. I accidentally headbutted her in the jaw when I went to answer. I think she bit her tongue or something. She's in the bathroom now probably checking for blood.”

“Oh.” Hopefully, Gou wasn't hurt too bad. “Well, you sent me that text last night, so I was calling to see what super mega ultra important thing you wanted to talk to me about at two in the morning.”

Rin snorted, but there was a long pause. “Okay, Gou's still in the bathroom, but I'm taking this outside anyway, hang on.”

“Oooooohhh, a _secret_ ,” Nagisa giggled and flopped down on his belly. Propped up on his elbows and kicking his feet in the air idly, he listened as a series of clicking and creaking noises suggested that Rin was getting up from wherever he sat and putting on shoes. A few seconds later, a much louder thump, probably the closing of a door, and the whoosh of a passing car confirmed that, yes, Rin had made it outside.

“You still there?” Rin mumbled, sounding only slightly more awake than he had a minute ago.

“What, you think I'd hang up without getting to hear this juicy secret of yours? Never! Now, _spill_.”

The warm laughter he received was unexpected but not unwelcome. Still, Rin's end went silent again, and Nagisa began to suspect there was something seriously troubling his friend. Hiding his feelings was a talent Rin simply did not possess.

“So.” Another pause. “You know Rei pretty well, right?”

And that was the point at which the gears in Nagisa's head started turning. Those two text messages from last night: Something must've _happened_. Something major. Something so downright _scandalous_ that it gave Rin an urgent need to pop a lock without anyone else knowing about it!

“D'you need his locker combination?” Nagisa blurted with a likely inappropriate level of enthusiasm. “Because I have it figured out and if you, y'know, need to slip something in there like a love note or a flower or if you maybe want, like, a bottle of his deodorant to sniff when you're alone I could—”

“ _What?!_ No!” Rin gave an agitated huff. “You know what, never mind. Maybe I should've just asked Makoto about it.”

“Wait, no no no no no! Don't hang up, don't hang up!” Nagisa pleaded and scrambled to a kneeling position.

Rin sighed, and then something in the background snapped. A car engine nearby revved up and drove away into the distance. “Fine.”

“What'd you wanna know about Rei-chan? I can help you with this, I promise!”

The sound of leaves crunching was faint but distinct, as was the squeak and subsequent dull clank of something metallic. The shuffling of paper joined the resumed leaf crunching for a few seconds until both gradually slowed to a stop. Rin's breath rattled against the receiver, and he... coughed? Smacked his lips?

“Rin-chan...?”

His breathing remained audible and shaky, and then it hitched in a way that sounded kinda sniffly.

Oh, shit, was he _crying?_

“Rin-chan, talk to me! What's the matter?” Nagisa mourned the fact that geographical distance rendered him physically incapable of wrapping his arms around his sulky friend. He flopped back against the mattress and pouted. “If you don't tell me what's wrong, I'm calling up Mako-chan, and we're all taking the bus to your house.”

“ _No_ ,” Rin immediately objected, though the word came out strangled and harsh. “No, don't you _dare_.”

“Then, tell me why you're crying,” Nagisa insisted with a whiny lilt. Getting Rin to open up was like pulling sharp, pointy teeth sometimes.

Rin growled, “I'm not—” and sniffled again. “Okay, fine. I teared up a little. Happy?”

“No, because you still haven't told me what's going on.”

A clack and several seconds of dead air passed before Rin finally admitted, “I fucked up, Nagisa. Pretty bad.”

Curiosity burning him from the inside, Nagisa couldn't help the eager tone of his voice. “What'd you do?”

“I, um.” Rin let out a nervous bark of laughter. “I... sent a, uh... _selfie_. To the wrong number.”

“Oooooohh,” Nagisa drawled, as if enlightened. “Wait, what's so bad about sending a picture of yourself to somebody?”

Rin grumbled a few obscene phrases in English and something papery slapped against a hard surface. “I _mean_ , a picture of my _dick_.”

The sounds of various motor vehicles zooming by punctuated the long stretch of silence that followed.

Nagisa tried to imagine sensitive, romantic, and sometimes moody Rin sending an unsolicited nudie pic to anyone, which proved impossible because he couldn't even picture Rin _befriending_ anyone prior to his recent meltdown. So, both the accidental and intended recipients had to have been people he already knew, which narrowed down the possibilities considerably. Nagisa had also assumed that Rei's coincidentally-timed text factored into this whole debacle, but he wasn't quite sure how. There were two, maybe three pieces left to fit in the puzzle, and Nagisa was certain he knew at least one of them. He was so close to figuring it out, he could _taste_ it.

“Wait...”

“What?” Rin sighed, exasperated.

“If you sent that pic to the wrong number, who was it _supposed_ to go to?”

Apparently, the ability to screech like a pterodactyl ran in the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanons: Nagisa's a fidgety little shit when he's talking on the phone and the Matsuoka siblings are grouchy fuckheads when they first wake up.


	3. That Chapter Where Rei Faps to Rin's Dickpic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei's brother comes home for a visit. Unfortunate conversations happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed updating for the duet CD release but Happy RinRei Week, my beautiful majestic flapflaps!

Alone in the privacy of his room, beneath the covers with the lights off (and even then, he still felt a little paranoid) was the only circumstance under which he would allow himself to view the image again. He had sent the last text to Rin hours ago, yet received no reply. After calming down from the initial shock of it all, Rei reasoned that Rin's embarrassment with having made such a grievous error was likely to blame for his unintentional rudeness. Perhaps, he considered additionally, it would be better to carry on their friendship as though the incident had never occurred.

Regardless, Rei's study session had been brought to a screeching halt, and there existed no mind-clearing mantra nor shower cold enough to erase the fuzzy image of Rin's dripping member from the back of his retinas.

He had noticed the other's stunning physique before, but only from an athletic theory angle. Since it seemed a decent standard to measure himself by, Rei had carefully taken note of Rin's warmup routine and training regimen as a reference to improve his own technique, so of course he would also observe which parts of Rin's body were the most toned from intense, repeated, _rigorous_ usage.

It was what any good academian would do.

Rin's package, having no effect on his swimming performance, was a portion of his rigorously toned body Rei had actively opted to ignore. Also, he wasn't too keen on being caught gazing upon it in an untoward manner. Lechery wasn't beautiful, after all. But in this instance the sight had been privately delivered to him (if by mistake) bare and erect and conveniently stored on his cellphone to view at his discretion.

If he so chose.

A mixture of nerves, excitement, and shame swirled inside him as he glanced down at the screen, currently set on a snapshot of Nagisa and Gou standing together in ludicrous poses by the pool at Samezuka, with Rin in the background preparing to snap on his goggles. Despite its innocence, Rei knew what lurked behind it in the gallery, and he swallowed in anticipation as he slowly swiped his thumb across. The bright glow of the obscene image commanded attention in the surrounding darkness.

Judging by the few details he could ascertain from the haphazard snapshot, Rin's penis appeared anatomically well-proportioned, which gave it an alluring aspect that Rei otherwise would never attribute to a sex organ. If the Vesuvius Man had an erection, he imagined it would look strikingly similar, if not identical. To his utter bewilderment, however, he had never found himself so enraptured by the form and dimensions of another person's genitalia before. Not that he had seen a lot of them to be enraptured by, but the act of sexual intercourse wasn't colloquially referred to as “bumping uglies” for no reason, and Rei held little interest in things without aesthetic appeal.

He lightly traced the outline of the appendage with his finger, imagining how it might look in person, how it might feel in the palm of his hand, hot and slick around the tip from peak arousal, the supple foreskin splendidly contrasting the firmness of the swelled erectile tissue it encased, ridges and veins and all the minute fleshy details that made it unique. He also wondered how Rin masturbated.

Did he look at magazines first for inspiration? Videos? Adult books? Or perhaps he preferred his own personal fantasies. If that were the case, who would his fantasies involve? The picture on the screen was meant for _someone_ , even if that someone hadn't been Rei.

But what _if_ it had been for Rei? What if _he_ were part of Rin's fantasies? What if, during each of their joint swim practices and one-on-one lessons, Rin had to hold back his secret, forbidden desires for his... rival?

Were they rivals? They were certainly in a _position_ to be rivals, but they were friends, too.

Rei liked the idea of having a sporting competitor, though, and Rin was more than qualified to fill the role. It would be a perfect setup, too, racing against each other after the rest of the team had gone, leaving the two of them alone. Rin, being a far more experienced swimmer, would probably win, of course, but that would never stop Rei from trying his best.

“You've improved since our last race,” Rin might say at the end of it.

And Rei would tell him, “Only because I have such an effective tutor.”

Then, Rin would affectionately clap him on the shoulder and smile because Rin had this thing about touching people that was somehow different from Nagisa's thing about touching people, like Rin's touches were made of fire that lit up everything his hands came into contact with, and they would ignite the passion in Rei such that he could no longer contain his feelings, letting them burst wide open as he used the opportunity of their momentary physical contact to pull Rin dangerously close.

“Rin-san... what is our relationship?” Rei would ask.

And Rin would answer, his voice low and sexy, “That's for _you_ to decide.”

“Then I decide _this_ ,” Rei would declare before mashing their lips together fiercely, which would then lead to tongues and frantic groping, and the only things separating them from raw skin-on-skin contact below the waist would be their tight, wet legskins, so tight that Rei would be able to see the tip of Rin's hardness peeking through the sheer red section around the crotch. And maybe it would hurt Rin a little to be constricted like that. So, Rei would lend a helping hand to whip it out, and it would look just as perfect as it did in the picture that Rei was definitely still staring at under the covers, only now he had a hand down his purple butterfly pajama pants, fisting his own cock while fantasizing about Rin's and hearing Rin moan his name and seeing Rin writhe beneath his touch and feeling the throbbing pulse of Rin's orgasm as a hot, slick stream of come shot out over his fingers and...

Rei vaguely registered shouting something in the darkness as he came.

 

* * *

 

The next morning broke mild and clear with a light breeze, the sun gently warming Rei's skin as he jogged in step next to his brother. They hadn't seen each other all summer, so when the elder Ryuugazaki came home for a weekend visit from Tokyo, Rei was more than delighted to engage in their sadly neglected tradition of a morning run together. So much had changed for Rei in the previous short months that the precious sliver of familiarity soothed the edges of his frayed nerves.

The two took the opportunity to catch up on each other's lives, though the conversation chiefly centered around Rei's questions about life in Tokyo and what it was like at the university and how the track scholarship was working out, which naturally led the path of discussion to how Rei's pole vaulting was going at Iwatobi. Breaking the news to Kaede had turned out to be much easier after sharing stories about the new friends he'd made in the swim club.

Rei told him about Nagisa, cheerful and persistent, who had originally connived him into joining in the first place. He told him about Haruka, whose beautiful front crawl had proved the inspiration for continuing to swim. He told him about Makoto and Gou, whose kindness and leadership skills kept them all focused and on track. And then he made it about halfway through the story of their first day at prefecturals when Kaede suddenly interrupted:

“Who's 'Rin-san'?”

Rei narrowly missed running into a light pole as his brother turned the corner, cackling. Despite the momentary disorientation, it took him but few strides to catch up and fall back into pace.

“Has Mother been gossiping to you about my friends?” The very idea that his mother would do such a thing without consulting him first marred his face with a frown.

“Nope!” Kaede grinned cheekily, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk in front of them.

“Then, wha...? How...?” Rei sputtered. “But I haven't even mentioned him yet!”

“ _Him?_ ” The elder Ryuugazaki skidded to a stop and doubled over in a fit of giggles. 

Taking a few extra paces to decelerate and turning around to face him, Rei proceeded to remain confused and flustered. “What?”

Then, Kaede straightened up, slung an arm around Rei's shoulders, and playfully pinched his cheek. “Little bro's got his first boyfriend!” he teased in a singsong voice.

Blushing, Rei wrestled out of Kaede's grip, and insisted defiantly, “I do not! And you still haven't mentioned how you know of him.”

Kaede's grin grew impossibly wider. “ _Well_...” He pulled Rei in close again, whispering in his ear, “You might wanna keep it down next time you're jerkin' off.”

Their run back home was spent in complete and total silence.

 

* * *

 

Seventeen messages. 

He had gone for a morning run for less than an hour, and he already had _seventeen messages_. It was barely even 9 o'clock!

Rei unlocked the screen to see if he had missed some sort of dire emergency.

 **Gou-san (8:26)** If he is he hasn't told me. Good luck!  <3

 **Nagisa-kun (8:27)** gou-chan says no n hes probs a virgin so go easy on him

 **Nagisa-kun (8:32)** oh n could u fwd me that pic? if u havent deleted it yet. rin-chan finally admitted it was 4 me but now hes bein a big meanie n wont let me c it.

 **Rin-san (8:32)** WHATEVER NAGISA SAID IS A LIE

 **Rin-san (8:35)** I swear to fucking god, this better not be about my pubic hair again. I shave because it creates less drag when I'm swimming and *NO OTHER REASON*

 **Nagisa-kun (8:37)** pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzz??? :)  <3<3<3<3

 **Gou-san (8:39)** Don't tell him I said this but Niichan is a really big softie. He likes flowers and his favorite movie is Titanic.

 **Gou-san (8:40)** The 1997 version not the old black &white one.

 **Nagisa-kun (8:40)** ill bake u sum cookiesss~~~

 **Makoto-senpai (8:43)** No, I'm not dating Rin. Neither is Makoto.

 **Gou-san (8:44)** Also, he doesn't like sweets very much. Don't get him chocolate.

 **Nagisa-kun (8:45)** Fwd: Ai-chan (8:33) Rin-senpai and I are just roommates! o///o;;

 **Nagisa-kun (8:46)** Fwd: Ai-chan (8:35) But if it helps, Rin-senpai listens to English music a lot! He got really upset when MCR broke up so I think that might be his favorite band.

 **Nagisa-kun (8:46)** Fwd: Miko-buchan (8:36) he's not going out with anyone on the team that i know of and i'd rather go out with his sister so it would definitely not be me.

 **Nagisa-kun (8:46)** Fwd: Ai-chan (8:37) And his breath smells like kimchi so make sure he brushes his teeth before you try to kiss him but PLEASE DON'T TELL HIM I SAID THAT

 **Mikoshiba-san (8:50)** hey why don't we make it a double date! i'll go with gou-kun and you can have grumpy. sound like a plan?

**Rin-san (9:01)** I'm really sorry about last night. Can we talk? 

Suddenly, Rei became hyper aware of a presence looming behind him. 

Standing slightly on his tiptoes, Kaede delicately splayed his fingers against Rei's back, rested his chin on the other's shoulder, and murmured, “ _Some_ one's popular today.” 

Rei immediately relocked the screen and scowled. “Am I not allowed any privacy in this house?” 

“Hey, it's not my fault you're a screamer.” Kaede caught his balance against the back of the couch as Rei stomped forward to shake him off. “So, you gettin' some or what?” 

“I fail to see how that's any of your business,” Rei answered coldly, though the radiant blush coloring his cheeks belied his embarrassment. 

“Aw, c'mon, I thought we were _bonding!_ ” A boyish pout on his lips, Kaede made a wide sweeping gesture between himself and the redder of the two. “You know I don't get to come home very often, and it's not like you call me up just to chitchat.” Then, he slumped back with his elbows propped against the couch, hung his head low, and added softly, “I just wanna know that my little bro's having the time of his life in high school.” 

Rei's icy expression melted and he rolled his eyes, sighing, “God, you're so melodramatic.” 

Like a light switch, Kaede's pout flipped into a toothy grin. “But you love me anyway, right?” 

Rei put on a thoughtful expression, letting his gaze wander the living room for a few seconds, and glanced back at him. “Only out of moral obligation.” 

Mockingly clutching his heart, Kaede pushed off the couch and stumbled in Rei's general direction. “Dear brother, you _wound_ me!” 

His dramatic display ended in a minor collision with Rei's chest, pulling his brother into a bear hug, and loosening his grip just enough to plant a wet, aggressive kiss on Rei's temple while ruffling his hair. 

“Niisan!” Rei whined helplessly. 

Suddenly, Kaede pulled away as though he had been prodded with a hot iron, fixing Rei with a contemplative stare to which Rei merely blinked in confusion. Then, Kaede ran the flat of his hand from the top of his head to the top of Rei's and gasped, “Did you get _taller_ than me?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based my rendition of Rei's brother on [the character that never was](http://ultimatemegax.wordpress.com/2013/09/01/free-guidebook-interview-hiroko-utsumi-x-futoshi-nishiya-part-1/) because keeping him unnamed wasn't working out and Kaede looks like a really fun guy. Just picture the tossed character design with blue hair instead of red. ~~I should probably draw him later for reference.~~
> 
> Also, I'm actually not sure how Nagisa addresses Mikoshiba in canon because they had exactly one conversation and it was about Rei. If I dicked up anybody's honorfics, please point it out so I can fix it.


	4. A Shiver of Matsuokas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin sulks like the moody adolescent child he is, he and Gou do brother and sister things, and their mother drags them out of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case y'all can't tell, I really like writing sibling fluff scenes, and this chapter just sort of dribbled out like Rin's emotional diarrhea. At this point, I should probably just retitle it The ButterShark Familial Relationships.

Despite all the years he'd spent away in Australia, Rin still found the bed in his old room at his mother's house the most comfortable. Having spent only the duration of winter break there in the years since elementary school, he had found little time or reason to change any of it, even with every available surface covered in old posters of anime characters, Western emo rock bands, and retired Olympic swimmers. It was a little embarrassing, and he would never admit to it in public, but he cherished the virtual time capsule he'd kept full of all the childish things that studying abroad had forced him to leave behind, enveloping him in little mementos of the person he used to be before his life went all to shit.

It was the perfect fortress to hide his heart in whenever the big bad world came knocking, and that was exactly what he planned on doing for the entire rest of the day.

“I'm going to kill Nagisa,” he grumbled miserably from his face-down position on the bed, slightly muffled by the Mermaid Melody pillow he had buried his head under.

The mattress shifted with the weight of someone sitting down beside him, and a small hand began rubbing soothing circles between his shoulder blades. “I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding,” Gou's gentle voiced assured him. “Rei-kun doesn't seem like the type to go around telling people... things like that. And we don't _know_ Nagisa-kun told them, um...”

Rin groaned and pulled the pillow down tighter. It was bad enough that the incident had even happened in the first place, but having his dear, innocent little sister find out and get involved made it at least a thousand times worse. 

“It's been almost _two hours_.”

“Oniichan, would you stop worrying so much? Rei-kun hasn't texted me back, either. He's probably just busy,” Gou reasoned.

“He _hates_ me.”

“He does _not_.” She tried tugging on the pillow with increasing fervor to remove it from his head, but Rin kept his vice-like grip on it until she gave up.

It didn't take long.

“Yes, he does,” Rin insisted sourly. “And now he's gonna tell everybody I'm a creepy pervert, and they're all gonna hate me, and no one'll ever wanna talk to me again except for Nagisa so he can laugh at me.”

“Okay, now you're just being silly.” He could practically hear her eyes rolling.

“And how do _you_ know? He could be doing that right now. I bet that's why he hasn't texted back yet.”

“Oniichan,” Gou started with an edge. “This is ridiculous. Get up already!” Then, she shoved him, persistent in her attempts to make him get up or move, but Rin remained stubbornly in place.

“No.”

“Mom said she'd to take us out for lunch today since you came home for a change.”

“I'm not going,” Rin spat petulantly.

The mattress shifted again as Gou stood, and the carpet whispered her footsteps approaching the foot of the bed. Suddenly, a pair of warm, dainty hands wrapped around his right ankle and yanked hard enough to make his knee pop.

“Hey!” Rin peeked out from under the pillow while still keeping a tight grip on it. “Dammit, Gou, would you _quit_? I'm not in the mood.”

Her hands clenched firmly in place, she glowered at him with fierce determination and commanded darkly, “Get up.” 

“Make me,” Rin dared back at her, which was probably the worst move he could've made in his position.

“Fine. I will.” With that, Gou proceeded to trail the fingers of one hand lightly along the bottom of his bare foot.

“That's not gonna w—”

His body completely betraying him, Rin burst into a fit of giggles, and Gou narrowly missed another blow to the chin as his leg jerked out of her hand. Spying an opening, she leapt up between Rin's feet, plopped down on the back of his thighs, and used her superior position to attack his sides and underarms and everywhere else she could reach. Despite his strength and size, being pinned down and ruthlessly tickled rendered Rin a helpless flailing, giggling puddle of goo.

“Gou!” he shouted, gasping for breath.

“I won't stop until you agree to leave the house,” she insisted as she concentrated her efforts on a particularly sensitive spot just below his ribs.

“No!” He tried throwing the pillow at Gou's head in retaliation but couldn't coordinate his arm well enough.

“Yes!”

“Stop,” he wheezed. “I ca—can't breathe.” His cheeks flushed almost as red as his hair, and tears welled up in his eyes.

“Say it,” she demanded, digging her fingertips around the back of his neck and then working them between his upper arms and his ribcage.

“No!”

“ _Say it._ ”

Rin's further attempts at protest all dissolved into peals of uncontrollable laughter as Gou's nimble girly fingers wriggled their way into every ticklish spot on his torso, even teasing a few he swore were never there before. Once it got to the point that he curled in on himself and made nothing but little wheezing noises, she finally let up.

For a few seconds, Rin only panted and gasped for air. His abs burned, his heart pounded like he'd just ran a marathon, and a visible trail of tears streaked down both sides of his face. While she wasn't particularly strong and her athletic abilities were downright depressing, his sister never lost a tickle fight.

“Well?” Gou patted her hands on his back in a wordless threat to continue if he didn't agree.

“Okay!” he huffed. “I give, just get off me already.”

He couldn't see her triumphant smile, but he'd seen it enough in times past to know it was there.

“Good.” She heaved herself from atop his legs and slid off the side of the mattress. “Now, hurry up and take a shower. You stink.”

Before he could shout his indignation, Gou bounded out of the room.

“I don't stink,” he muttered to himself with a childish pout. Then, since there was no one around to see him do it, he took a curious sniff of his tank top.

Okay, maybe he did smell a little like a sweaty gym sock.

 

* * *

 

It was only after he had turned on the water and gotten his hair wet that Rin realized he hadn't brought any of his toiletries with him. He had been in such a hurry to catch the next train home that it hadn't even crossed his mind what he might do after crying alone with Lucia and Hippo.

But, he was already in the shower, and... well. There were various bottles and a bar of soap and things to use them with. He had _options_ , technically, just none that would leave him smelling very manly afterwards.

So, he shrugged and cracked the top open on somebody's 2-in-1 lilac-scented shampoo and conditioner. Who cared if he smelled like a field of chemically manufactured flowers today? No big deal in the grand scheme of things. He was just going out to lunch with his mom and his sister.

And if anyone gave him shit about it when he got back to the dorms later, he could just suffocate them in their sleep.

Of course, thinking about how he had to go to school and face his friends again put him back in a pissy mood. All because of that stupid picture of his stupid dick because he was stupid enough to think he could involve stupid Nagisa in his stupid fantasies.

And he didn't even get to _finish_.

Upon reflection, that quite possibly pissed him off more than anything else. If he was going to be labeled a pervert, he should've at least gotten off from it. Then, he rinsed the suds from his hair and considered the fact that he was currently standing in the shower. Alone.

In the time it took him to get it up, he examined all the containers lining the rack behind him to see which held the oiliest conditioner and happened across a tube of lubricant discreetly placed behind a couple pump-top bottles of facial cleanser. Willfully ignoring the implications of its presence in the shower, he squirted a copious amount of it in his palm and pressed his back against the wall for balance because it made teasing his taint while slicking up his dick a little easier. And if he ended up sliding his hand a little further between his thighs to tease his asshole, too, nobody had to know.

Nobody had to know that he then slicked up the fingers on his other hand and crammed two of them as far up his ass as they could go, either. Or that only his middle finger was actually long enough to really hit the spot at the angle he was standing in, but he came hard with a soft moan in less than a minute from all his pent up frustrations anyway. It was also completely unnecessary for anyone to ever be aware that he spent the last minute of his shower scrubbing down as quickly as possible under an icy spray because he decided to jerk off twice.

 

* * *

 

They groaned simultaneously as if it had been rehearsed.

“But Mom!”

“Pizza Boy? Seriously?”

Matsuoka Asuka ignored her whining teenaged children and parked the car.

The two rarely agreed on family meals at home, much less on restaurant choices. One of the few things they could consistently compromise with, though, was pizza. Consequently, this meant that their food option defaulted to pizza for almost every outing, whether either of them was in the mood for it or not. And, as they both knew, once the car stopped moving, the debate was over, and wherever they happened to be parked would be where they were going to eat, end of discussion.

Asuka cut the engine.

Getting from the inside of their car to inside the restaurant was easy and occurred without incident. Deciding what they wanted on their pizza was not.

“Pineapple isn't a pizza topping,” Gou muttered, frowning at Rin's suggested menu selection.

“If it's _not_ , then why is it _on_ here?” Rin pointed at the word “pineapple” on the list of available toppings and poked Gou in the shoulder far more times than strictly necessary.

She scowled, swatted at his hand, and missed, knocking over the red pepper shaker.

“Alright, kids, that's enough,” Asuka chided before righting it and sliding it to the far corner of the table. “We can get half of it with pineapple, and the other half with—”

“Olives?” Gou cut in hopefully.

“ _Gross._ ” Rin made an expression not unlike her pineapple face.

Then, Gou side-eyed him and discreetly kicked him under the table. He responded in kind with a pinch just below the hem of her skirt, to which she elbowed him in the ribs. Not to be outdone twice in one day, Rin pulled out one of her arm hairs, eliciting a stifled yelp. Since Rin shaved his entire body and therefore had no arm hairs to pull, Gou casually reached up and plucked one of the hairs from his head. He hissed and gritted his teeth but made no immediate retaliation.

They eyed each other warily for a short minute before a friendly waitress approached the table and took their order for a half-and-half pizza and three drinks, completely unaware of the quiet cat fight going on in the adolescent half of the booth. As she retreated to the kitchen, Rin rested his arm over the back of the seat, biding his time. When he caught the sparkle in Gou's eyes as some muscular stranger entered the door, he snared the opportunity to furtively pop her left bra strap. Jumping at the sudden sting, Gou whipped around to aim an electric glare at Rin, close enough to see the flecks of magenta around his pupils.

Then, a menu slapped against the center of the table, and they both broke eye contact to find the source.

“Hey.” Asuka fixed them with The Look. “That's enough, you two. Any more of this,” she gestured between them, “and we'll be getting that pizza to go.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

They slumped back in their seats like deflated helium balloons, Rin choosing to stare down at the table as if a secret code for the meaning of life were engraved on it and Gou returning to shimmering over the same handsome stranger as before. Not two seconds later, however, something shifted in her gaze: a spark of familiarity. Then, keeping an eye on whoever it was, she excitedly tapped Rin on the shoulder.

“What?” he mumbled without moving.

“Oniichan, look.”

He sighed and repeated witheringly, “What?”

Her taps turned into fervent pats. “Oniichan, it's _Rei-kun_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I'm on Team Pineapple.
> 
> Also, and I should have put this in the notes for last chapter, but since the fandom seems to universally agree that Rin's into Linkin Park and sappy romances, I decided to throw in singing mermaids questing for shiny things and true love because that also seems like a little Rin thing.


	5. It's My Pizza And I'll Cry If I Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's right, Rei and his brother have shown up at the pizza place! Uncomfortable discussions ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q: How many times can I make Rin cry in a 24 hour period?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>                                                                                 ˙ɐǝs ǝɥʇ uᴉ ɥsᴉɟ ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ sɐ ʎuɐɯ s∀ :∀

“Yo, Rei.” Kaede let out a breathy chuckle as he whispered in Rei's ear and gave him a nudge.

“What?”

“Some cute girl's over there waving at us.”

“What?” Rei repeated eloquently.

Kaede pointed in her general direction. “ _Please_ tell me you know her.”

The girl in question was sitting in a booth on the left wall wearing a smile sunny enough to melt Siberian permafrost. She also wore her dazzling red hair up in a high ponytail, just enough makeup to bring out the deep hue of her eyes, and a tantalizing yellow miniskirt.

A solid 10 if Kaede ever saw one.

Sitting beside her was another redhead who looked for all the world like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. Judging by the fact that they weren't lovey-dovey all over each other and more than just slightly favored, Kaede assumed they were related, most likely brother and sister.

“That's Gou-san and Rin-san,” Rei explained.

The names rang a bell, as he'd heard Rei mention them before. Gou was the swim team's... club president? Secretary? Manager? Something like that. She looked too soft-bodied to be much of a swimmer, which confused him. Then again, Kaede couldn't remember Rei ever mentioning her entering any competitions with them, either. Maybe she was there for moral support.

The guy trying desperately to hide behind her, though. He looked like he could rip the table clean in half with those _guns_ , but his face was gently curved and pretty like his sister's. What was his name again? Rin? Yeah, he could see why Rei would be rubbing it out to this guy.

Clearly, they needed to meet.

“Ah, your swimming friends. Let's go say hi!” Without leaving any room for objections, Kaede looped his arm around Rei's and pulled him along.

“Rei-kun!” Gou greeted cheerfully.

“Oh, are these you friends from school?” Kaede hadn't even seen the woman sitting opposite Rin and Gou, but up close he noticed three things immediately: She had fiery red hair like whom he assumed to be her children, she was very petite, and something in her polite smile gave him the creeps.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it until Rin parted his lips and turned the corners of his mouth up in a nervous mimicry of being pleasantly surprised.

_Yikes._

Of all the traits the kid could've inherited from this otherwise lovely woman, he had to get the weird pointy chompers.

Why did Rei like this guy again?

Gou perked up, flashing her blessedly normal teeth. “Mom, this is Rei-kun. He's our butterfly swimmer.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Rei-kun.” Their mother continued smiling that sharp, unnerving smile of hers and added proudly, “Rin here swims butterfly, too.”

Jaws Junior blushed adorably and sank down in his seat some more. “Yeah, uh. We've... met.”

“Oh, have you? Well, neither of you tell me anything anymore, so I have no idea what's going on in your lives.”

Then, Kaede had an idea.

 

* * *

 

Rin wanted to die.

He already had a vague plan in mind for how he might execute the endeavor and three more backup plans in case the first one didn't work, but he wasn't too picky about the details. Anything to get him out of this awkward pizza purgatory.

In a matter of minutes, Gou's quick introduction had turned into two families sharing two pizzas in one booth with Rei sitting in the opposite corner from him and Rei's annoyingly chatty brother sitting beside him, effectively boxing him in while forcing him out in the open.

Taking the lead as she did with many things, Gou began telling the story of Iwatobi's performance at regionals (with occasional input from Rei) and, consequently, of their short-lived first place victory, which was later conceded to Rin's own Samezuka. Because borrowing a swimmer from another team was the strangest breach of regulations those judges had ever seen, though Gou conveniently left that part out.

“ _Disqualified?_ ” Rei's brother sounded utterly scandalized.

Rin cringed inwardly and wondered if anyone would notice if he just slid under the table and bolted out the door never to return.

“It was my fault,” Rei sighed.

_No no no no no no no._

They were not having this conversation.

“ _My_ brother? Breaking the rules? Now, this I gotta hear.” Kaede took another bite of his pizza. “So, what'd you do?”

Prior to the race, that day had been one of the lowest points in Rin's short life, and he really preferred not to think back on it. Ever. Especially not in front of his mom and some guy he just met.

Having been so focused on trying not to look directly at Rei, he caught only a glimpse of the somber, pitying expression thrown his way before Rei looked back at his brother and began, “Well—”

“Excuse me, Kaede-san,” Rin interrupted and indicated that he would very much like to be let out of the booth as quickly as possible in a series of completely unrelated hand gestures.

He was so not about to have an emotional fit in the middle of a shitty pizza parlor in front of everyone like a huge baby.

“Oh, sorry!” Kaede slid out to stand aside for him with all the speed of a slug.

Rin could swear there was suddenly less oxygen in the building as he made a mad dash for the men's restroom. Once the door shut behind him, however, it felt like breaking the surface after a long dive. As soon as he realized that it was one of the few public toilets that actually had a lid to put down, he took advantage of it and sat. 

Only an hour ago, he had thought that calling him a pervert was the absolute worst thing Rei could say about him without making up some crazy lie. He was wrong. Very, very wrong. So wrong, in fact, that he wasn't sure why the possible scenario of Rei telling his mom what a fucking loser her son had been at regionals had never even crossed his mind.

Something in his chest tightened the more he thought about it, and he could feel the pressure building behind his eyes.

After coming in dead last, it had taken him six failed attempts at lifting his dumb ass out of the pool before another member of the team had to run over and help drag him out by the wrist. The other guy was stunned speechless. Rin couldn't even look him in the eye.

_'I'm obviously no better than this!'_

His dreams of honoring his father with Olympic glory had slipped through his fingers like fine grains of sand.

_'I'm done with swimming!'_

Even if he didn't feel the same anymore, he'd meant those things when he said them. He'd known Aiichirou had meant well by trying to cheer him up, too, but he'd refused to accept what felt like empty compliments and false hope. Australia had beaten all the blind optimism out of him pretty fast.

“Rin-san?”

_Fuck._

He hadn't even heard the door open.

“Are you okay?” Rei's gentle tone of concern made him physically ill. “You rushed in here so suddenly, your mother was worried you might be—”

Rin made an attempt to answer, but all that came out was a cracked “No!” before the tears spilled, and he knew he was gone. It wouldn't be the first time Rei had seen him lose his shit, and it probably wouldn't be the last, so there really wasn't any point in holding back.

He had no pride left to lose anyway.

Burying his face in his hands, he whimpered, “I didn't want her to find out. God, I'm such an _idiot_.” 

He heard Rei sigh before a strong arm wrapped around his shoulders and squeezed tightly. “I didn't tell her.”

Rin slowly lifted his head, coming almost nose-to-nose with Rei, who looked incredibly determined about something. “What?”

“Sometimes newbies make mistakes. Like using the wrong kick after the turn.” He gave Rin a soft smile.

“You... you _didn't_...” When Rei offered no statement in the negative, Rin shrugged off his arm, clenching his jaw. “Tell me you didn't _say_ that. Rei, you can't just—”

“I already did,” Rei quipped with a scowl. “And if you value our friendship, you won't go out there and tell them any different because I'd rather my family didn't know about it, either.”

Rin snapped his mouth shut and blinked.

Then, Rei continued in a much lighter tone, “If you wouldn't mind, I'd prefer to finish this conversation outside.”

“Out... side?”

“Out of the building, not... in front of them.”

“Right.” Rin breathed. He could breathe. Everything was going to be... not _fine_ , but not as bad as he thought it would be.

 

* * *

 

 **Sent! (12:36)** I'm taking Rin-san outside for some fresh air. Could you distract Niisan?

 **Gou-san (12:37)** Is he ok? :(

 **Sent! (12:39)** He'll be fine. He just needs to clear his head, and I want to discuss something with him in private.

 **Gou-san (12:39)** ok

Rin's mother was thankfully calm and understanding as Rei led him out the door for a walk around the block, which in actuality was a mere walk to the other side of Kaede's black sedan, where they could avoid traffic from passing vehicles and other restaurant goers.

Knowing that their time alone would be limited, Rei jumped straight to the point. “You said you wanted to talk.”

Rin looked back at him blankly. “What?”

“You text message this morning. You apologized and expressed a desire to discuss what I assume were the events of last night.”

“Oh. _That_.” Rei took careful note that whenever Rin blushed, the resulting color was approximately two shades lighter than his hair with a hue slightly more violet than his eyes. Not quite a rose pink, but close.

 _'He likes flowers,'_ Gou had said in one of her earlier messages.

_Delicate beauty for a delicate heart._

Then, he wondered what Rin's favorite might be. Gou brought up his penchant for romantic things, so roses seemed appropriate. He imagined Rin burying his nose in a dozen of them, cheeks blushing to match, eyes sparkling in adoration as he shyly thanked Rei for the botanical token of affection.

It gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling.

He also recalled his friends once mentioning something about swimming in a pool full of cherry blossoms. Those seemed appropriate as well but were impossible to work into a bouquet.

How much would a sapling from a nursery cost? Did they take long to mature?

“Like I said, I'm... I'm really sorry. It was a complete accident, and Nagisa was supposed to—Would you stop _looking_ at me like that?”

Rei belatedly realized that he had been staring rather intensely the entire time but couldn't find the will to tear his eyes away as Rin, still pink as a rose, smoothed down his hair and slumped against the car parked next to Kaede's.

“I'm a stupid fucking pervert, okay?” he snapped. “I'm _sorry_.”

“I didn't say that,” Rei replied hesitantly, fighting not to transpose the image of a slightly blurry, dripping, erect penis onto the boy in front of him. Or steal a tiny glance at his crotch to compare it to. Or find it incredibly erotic.

It was a swift, losing battle.

Rin snorted. “No, but you were _thinking_ it.”

“Hmph.” Rei adjusted his glasses and countered smartly, “Unless you have acquired some sort of psychic ability recently, you have no idea _what_ I was thinking.”

“You were thinking about that picture of my dick,” Rin deadpanned. When Rei sputtered and failed to deny it, he continued, “Yeah, that's what I thought.” Then, he sighed forlornly. “I'm never gonna live this down, am I?”

“Rin-san, it's not... you don't...” Rei wasn't sure what he wanted to say exactly, but it was definitely something nice and comforting that would keep Rin from tearing up again.

“At least let me make it up to you somehow. If I can.” His desperation was palpable.

Rei considered all the possible ways this increasingly worrisome conversation could progress and the implications of Rin's word choices. He knew that Rin had suffered severe confidence issues in the recent past, but those had all seemed to stem from his swimming performance, which had improved phenomenally since then. But swimming also tied in with everything else in Rin's life, including his friends and family. If promising to keep word of his struggles abroad and at Samezuka from his mother didn't ease his troubled mind, there was obviously something else bothering him.

It also stood to reason that Rin must have felt secure enough in his sexuality to have no trouble sharing nudes with a friend whom he wasn't dating exclusively or otherwise, as far as Rei knew, which ran in direct odds with the fact that he also seemed worried about being labeled a sexual deviant.

By whom, though, if his friends presumably didn't mind being on the receiving end of his advances? If Nagisa's reaction were any indication, they must certainly have been okay with it. Haruka and Makoto's apparent nonchalance also seemed to support this assumption.

But those were Rin's friends from the past. Rei, on the other hand...

“Of _course_." He slapped himself on the forehead.

Rin looked antsy and confused. 

“I mean, uh. Of _course_ you can do something to make up for it!” Rei grinned, delighted that he had finally figured it out. “You can make it up to me by taking responsibility.” 

“Um. What?” Rin continued to look antsy and confused. 

“The only logical solution to this dilemma is for us to go out on a date.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fastest I have ever written a chapter, and I would've posted it sooner if my internet didn't cut out yesterday. Rin's gross tears are truly inspiring~* 8D


	6. The Waiting Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their date is next weekend, and Rin is a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, y'all are gonna hate me so much for this, but I'm making them wait a week before the ~romance~ so I can cram in more stupid and embarrassment because I like making them fumble around each other and everyone around them.

No less than five ballpoint pens, twelve wooden pencils, three mechanical pencils, six disposable chopsticks, and all ten of his fingernails suffered the nervous chewing habit that Rin would forever deny having. Even the mouth of the plastic sports drink bottle he had long since emptied and failed to dispose of fell to the pointy wrath of his incisors around the rim, mostly because he couldn't afford to ruin the very last usable writing utensil left in his possession.

And it was only Tuesday.

“Rin-senpai?” Predictably, his roommate sounded concerned.

He hated it when his roommate sounded concerned. Not because he hated Aiichirou or people caring about his well-being in general but because the perceptive little shit could see straight through every emotional barrier he constructed and had a way of charging into conversations by asking the most difficult question first, as if he knew specifically which subject Rin didn't want to talk about at that exact moment.

Rin gave him a “Hn?” of acknowledgment as he continued writing.

Rather than actually look up at Aiichirou, however, he paused to let his hair down so he could gnaw on the thick band he'd pulled it back with earlier. It tasted like an unfortunate mixture between rubber and his shampoo, and the ribbed texture felt weird against his tongue, but it had just the right amount spring and resistance to make the bite somewhat satisfying.

A pack of gum dropped onto his essay.

“You'll ruin your teeth,”Aiichirou said like it was somehow his business what Rin put into his own mouth.

Which, okay, maybe it kind of was since one of those chewed up pencils had been been his, and Rin had forgotten that it was borrowed about halfway into pretending to pay attention to his history lecture. But that still didn't make Aiichirou spending his money on gum that would never be stiff enough for this level of stress any less frivolous. Rin didn't even like spearmint.

Still, as useless as it was, Aiichirou was only trying to help, and he couldn't fault him for that.

“Um... thank you.” Rin took one stick out, set it aside, and held out the rest of the package to return it. 

Aiichirou raised his hands in refusal. “No no, all of it's for you! Please take the whole pack!”

“No, I couldn't,” Rin countered with feigned politeness and waved it around in circles at him.

“Really, I don't mind. You can have it.”

“That's very kind of you, but I don't wanna take all your gum.” He waggled it around some more.

“But I insist!” Aiichirou gently clasped Rin's hand and pushed it away. “The machine dropped out the wrong flavor. I don't even like this kind.” Then, he laughed nervously and started backing up towards the door.

“Ai, where are you going?”

“Me? I'm just, uh... going to a different vending machine! To get the flavor that I wanted.” He grinned brightly while feeling behind him for the doorknob, opened the door once his hand bumped against it, and gave a quick wave as he stepped out. “Bye!”

After the door clicked shut, Rin casually leaned over and deposited the pack of gum on the other's desk.

Aiichirou could be so weird sometimes.

 

* * *

 

Rin spent most of Wednesday glaring at his phone as if messages and phone calls could be summoned with sheer concentrated frustration. To temper his nerves, he had actually resorted to chewing through every single stick of Aiichirou's disgusting spearmint gum, which he'd discovered mysteriously hiding in his jacket pocket at the start of class that morning. The anticipation was _killing_ him, but he absolutely refused to cave and be the first one to call.

If it hadn't made him so anxious, he would've been fucking furious. For someone who liked yammering on about taking responsibility and all, Rei sure was an _inattentive_ —

He snapped his goggles and dove into the pool.

_They weren't boyfriends._

Hell, he wasn't sure if they had ever truly become _friends_. Not to say that they weren't on friendly terms or that they disliked each other (because they were and they didn't), but Rei's question at their last joint practice did make him wonder.

_'Are we rivals or are we friends?'_

Like they had to be one or the other and nothing else. If Haruka could be both, then naturally so could Rei. But Rin hadn't known him since grade school like he had Haruka, and that complicated things a little. Being unsure of the answer himself, he had left it up to Rei to decide the direction their developing relationship would take. Rei had been the first to open the dialog between them, so it seemed fitting.

He slammed his hands against the wall and sucked in a deep breath.

“Matsuoka! Good, I was hoping that was you.” A pair of large tanned feet plodded into his line of sight. “Hey, hop out for a minute. I wanna talk to you about something.”

Rin lingered in the water a bit longer to steel himself. Casual conversations with Mikoshiba as of late had this tendency to cause him major headaches, and if this one turned out to be another stupid attempt at getting his sister's number, he decided he was just to going to shank his captain with the nearest sharp object and get it over with.

Without waiting for him to actually climb out, Mikoshiba kept talking. “So, I was texting Gou-kun last night and we decided—”

Rin _lunged_ out of the pool teeth first, soaking everything within a two meter radius, including Mikoshiba's feet, though their owner appeared only slightly alarmed by the sudden chlorinated shower.

“—to schedule another joint practice for Friday.”

Of course there wouldn't be any sharp objects conveniently nearby when he really needed one.

“When the _hell_ did you get my sister's number?” He ripped off his cap and pushed his goggles up to properly glare his disapproval. “Wait, never mind that. Who the fuck _gave_ it to you?!” 

“Keep your legskins on, Matsuoka,” Mikoshiba replied coolly and put on his serious business face. “Coach gave us permission to make the joint practices a weekly thing, so we exchanged numbers to avoid playing tag with the school's ancient office phone in case any last minute changes needed to be made.”

Despite the admittedly reasonable explanation, Rin still craved something to sink his teeth into. “Shouldn't that be their _captain's_ job?”

Mikoshiba shrugged. “I have no idea what her and Tachibana's system is for splitting leadership duties. I just keep up with what I have to do and do it.”

Rin made a mental note to have a good long talk with Makoto about that later.

“ _Any_ way,” Mikoshiba continued as though the swimmer in front of him wasn't already contemplating murder, “She still hasn't agreed to go out with me, so you can relax for now.”

Which didn't ease Rin's worries even the slightest. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, fists clenched tight, but said nothing. He had a lot of respect for his captain both in and out of the pool, but any man who dared to defile his little sister would do so at the risk being dumped in the harbor wearing a pair of cinderblock shoes.

“Oh, and I heard about you and Ryuugazaki,” he added with a megawatt smile like his fucking lips just could not stop shitting out more dumbass things for Rin to hang himself with.

“Who told you?!” Rin demanded, his voice cracking embarrassingly like a pubescent nerd. He didn't need to see a mirror to know that his face had turned beet red.

Mikoshiba's amused chuckle only fanned the flames of his outrage. “Gou-kun, of course.”

Official swimming business he could tolerate, but gossiping about his failed sexual encounters hurdled over the line with a vaulting pole. And he had thought for sure that Gou was on _his_ side.

“Okay, I dunno what she told you, but whatever it is, it's _not true!_ ” he insisted a lot louder than he'd intended.

“So, you and Ryuugazaki _aren't_ going on a date this weekend?” Mikoshiba looked confused.

Rin felt confused by Mikoshiba's apparent confusion. “Yes.”

“Yes you _are_ or yes you _aren't?_ ”

Feeling a migraine coming on, he slapped a hand over his face and sighed, “Yes, we are going on a date.”

However, clarifying his statement only seemed to perplex Mikoshiba even further. “Wait. Then, what was the thing that's not true? Because that's all she told me.”

Rin blinked. “She didn't say anything about a text message?”

“No.” The captain stared down at him like he'd lost his mind. “What happened with a text?”

“Nothing,” Rin replied curtly, relieved that his dirty secret had actually remained a secret. “Nothing at all happened with a text.” Then, he pulled the cap back over his head. “I am going to do my sets now.”

Forgetting that he had sloshed a sizable puddle around where he stood, Rin moved to turn on his heel, slipped spectacularly, and hit the water ass first.

Fortunately, only _half_ the team saw him do it.

 

* * *

 

 **Rinrin (16:23)** Rei hasn't said a word to me all week. Why do I get the feeling this is somehow your fault?

 **Sent! (16:26)** idk y DO u think this is my fault?

 **Rinrin (16:28)** Because you talk to him the most and for some shitty reason he listens

 **Sent! (16:29)** maybe rei-chan is just nervous. i kno he gets nervous b4 races.

 **Rinrin (16:30)** WTF does HE have to be nervous about? It was his idea! And I'm not his competition!

 **Sent! (16:30)** idk hav u tried askin him?

 **Rinrin (16:32)** NO! I don't wanna look clingy and desperate.

 **Sent! (16:33)** awwwww is rinrin nervous 2?

“Oo, Nagi, who're you texting?”

“Hey!” Nagisa yelped as his middle sister Keiko, who had absolutely zero respect for personal space, cruelly snatched the phone out of his hands and started scrolling through his messages.

She made a face at the screen while playing keepaway with Nagisa, using the chair he'd been sitting in as a barrier. “Who the hell is _Rinrin?_ ”

“None of your business!” He made a mad grab for her hand and caught a fistful of air.

“Ah, is she your girlfriend? Wow, she sounds _pissed_.”

“Rin-chan's a guy!” he corrected loudly. The chair almost tipped over as he jumped over it to tackle her.

Keiko took a large step backwards to dodge him and continued prodding the screen. “So, he's your _boy_ friend, then.”

“No!” Nagisa protested after his elbows collided with the dining room's hardwood floor (emphasis on the hard), his feet lingering on the edge of the seat.

Then, the phone buzzed in her hands. “What about this 'Kou-chan' of yours? Is _that_ your boyfriend?”

“It's _Gou_ -chan, and she's a girl!” He made a halfassed swipe at her ankle and missed.

“Wow, all your friends really _are_ weird like you.” Keiko laughed like a chorus of angels dying, but she abruptly stopped, her lips moving idly as she read whatever Gou had sent him before her expression turned serious. “You should probably take this one.”

He hissed at the throbbing pain from his intimate encounter with the floor as he peeled himself off the polished pine and snatched the phone back the instant her arm extended.

 **Gou-chan (16:34)** I'm guessing you're the reason Oniichan just threw his phone across the room.

Rather than stick around to watch his mom prep a dessert for the one meal of the week that all his sisters had come home for, he ran upstairs to his room to avoid any future interceptions. Knowing his luck, Michiko would probably jump in on it if Keiko got curious again, and though Junko hadn't arrived yet, Nagisa didn't doubt her ability to show up just in time to make his life even more miserable.

_Stupid older sisters._

Even though he knew all three of them could pick it with practiced ease, he locked the door behind him anyway. It would at least give him a few seconds warning that they were coming in.

He flopped back against his bed and sighed.

 **Sent! (16:38)** no his temper is the reason he thru his fone. all i did was answer his q 

**Gou-chan (16:40)** Now he's a nervous wreck b/c he thinks Rei-kun is having 2nd thoughts.

 **Sent! (16:41)** rei-chan wud nvr back out!

 **Sent! (16:43)** rin-chan shud b more patient, theyll c each other @ practice 2mrrw

 **Gou-chan (16:45)** Can you at least tell Rei-kun to text Oniichan before he goes ballistic and eats more of Aiichirou-kun's pens?

 **Sent! (16:46)** RIN-CHANS BEEN GIVING BJS 2 AI-CHAN???????

 **Sent! (16:47)** WAIT SHIT I READ THAT WRONG. IGNORE THAT LAST TEXT.

 **Gou-chan (16:48)** oh my god, Nagisa. PENS! P-E-N-S!!!


	7. Mass Textfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto learns the hard way what CC stands for, and Nagisa's sister makes a comeback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to title this chapter "Hell and All the Ways I'm Getting There" but then I realized that had nothing to do with the story and everything to do with me being a horrible person.
> 
> I apologize in advance for what you are about to read.

“Ew, Ran, stop poking it!”

“But it's so sproingy. Look!”

“It's _supposed_ to do that!”

“Nuh- _uh_.”

“Yeah- _huh_. You can ask Oniichan!”

Makoto awoke to a light stinging sensation as a child-sized hand smacked across the side of his face.

“Oniichan!”

He blearily cracked an eye open. Then, two. The sight of Ran's face nose-to-nose with his own refused to come into focus, but he'd seen it often enough to recognize it for what it was.

“Oniichan, you awake now?” she asked, prodding him in the cheek until he batted her hand away.

“Wha' time is it?” he mumbled.

Ran sat up to give him some much needed breathing room and crossed her arms. “Question time!”

“Ugh...” He yawned, scrubbed both hands down the sides of his face, and sighed tiredly, “What?”

“Okay,” she said as she leaned back and uncrossed her arms to point at something in the direction of his knees. “Ren says that's normal, but I think you should call the doctor just to be sure.”

“Huh?” Still in a sleepy haze, he propped up on his elbows with a grunt to get a look at what she was talking about. “What's normal about a doctor call?”

“This.” The end of her finger edged dangerously close to the tent in his boxer shorts before poking the center of it just enough to make it bob.

It took him about half a second to realize what was going on before he scrambled to cover his crotch with his pillow and shrieked incoherently.

“I _told_ you not to _touch_ it!” Ren scolded, shoving Ran away from Makoto.

“Look, he's obviously in pain! We should call an _ambulance_ ,” Ran insisted and shoved him back.

Meanwhile, Makoto yelled at the top of his lungs for their father to please come in there as quickly as possible because _this was an emergency_. The twins continued to bicker and push each other as he buried his face in his hands and prayed for a swift, clean death. When the door finally slammed open, he peeked over his fingertips, gave the most pleading expression he could muster, and whimpered.

“Son, what's the matter?” His father sounded utterly terrified.

Before Makoto could answer, Ran bounced off the bed. “Daddy, Ren says it's normal for penises to stick up, but I think he's lying!”

“I'm not lying!” Ren protested, hopping off after her. “Dad, tell her!”

“Please get them out of here,” Makoto begged, flushing a brilliant shade of scarlet. Then, he pointed at his crotch and mouthed, _They saw my morning wood._

The elder Tachibana paled and his lips moved silently to form a long string of four-letter words, finally settling on _Shit._ Then, he turned his head to yell down the hallway for his wife. “Honey!”

“What is it, dear?” she yelled back from somewhere across the house.

“Can you come in here for a minute? We need to have a serious _talk_ with our little ones!”

 

* * *

 

 **Sent! (Multiple recipients) (7:15)** Don't forget we have joint practice @ Samezuka today!

 **Oniichan (7:17)** Why was I included in this?

 **Sent! (Oniichan) (7:18)** Good morning to you too.

 **Makoto-senpai (7:19)** Can I ask you something serious and kinda personal? I just need to know if this has happened to anyone else and you're the only girl I really know.

 **Oniichan (7:20)** Sorry, it just seemed unnecessary. Have a good day, sis!

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:20)** Ok. What is it?

 **Sent! (Oniichan) (7:21)** Love you too jerk  <3

 **Nagisa-kun (7:21)** r we havin lunch under the tree again 2day?

 **Sent! (Nagisa-kun) (7:22)** If everybody wants to sure.

 **Rei-kun (7:23)** I support Nagisa-kun's suggestion for having lunch under the tree.

 **Nagisa-kun (7:23) CC:** yay!

 **Makoto-senpai (7:23)** Ok so. You know how the twins usually wake me up in the morning right?

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:24)** Yeah what about it?

 **Makoto-senpai (7:26)** Oh god nevermind this is just too weird

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:26)** No it's ok! You can tell me

Though Gou had no idea how Ran and Ren's involvement in Makoto's personal problems could possibly relate to her, if he felt distressed enough to actually admit to it and ask for help, she figured it must've been something major. Why he thought he needed a girl's perspective in particular, on the other hand...

Maybe Ran had found her first boyfriend, and Makoto, being a sweet, caring older brother, was worried for the safety of her tender young heart. Gou could just see the flustered look on his face from watching his baby sister hold hands with some rebellious boy from school.

_How cute!_

Then, her phone buzzed again.

 **Makoto-senpai (7:31)** Ok. Ran came in here and caught me with morning wood for the first time and then she started poking it like a dead animal or something and I was just wondering if anything like that ever happened with you and Rin.

Being on a crowded train surrounded by other passengers, she bit the inside of her cheek and pursed her lips to avoid letting slip any attention-drawing noises.

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:33)** ...you do realize you're still messaging thru the mass text  & everybody can see this right?

 **Oniichan (7:33) CC:** CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION AND I AM KILLING YOU BOTH

 **Nagisa-kun (7:33) CC:** OMFG MAKO-CHAN

 **Rei-kun (7:34) CC:** That sounds like a very unfortunate experience. You have my sympathies. Please never mention it again.

 **Nagisa-kun (7:34) CC:** so gou-chan did c ur wood then

 **Oniichan (7:35) CC:** I WILL DROWN YOU AT PRACTICE I SWEAR TO GOD

 **Haruka-senpai (7:35)** how do i mute this convo?

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:36)** It happened ONCE when I was like 9 yrs old I think. I had a nightmare so he let me sleep in his bed w/ him  & when we woke up there it was. He told me boys parts do that sometimes & then I went back to sleep.

 **Sent! (Makoto-senpai) (7:36)** Nothing special about it, sorry

 **Oniichan (7:37)** WHY DID YOU TELL HIM THAT?

 **Sent! (Oniichan) (7:38)** Its nothing to be ashamed of!

 **Rei-kun (7:38)** I did not need to know any of this.

 **Haruka-senpai (7:38)** i'm turning my phone off now

 **Makoto-senpai (7:39)** Can we please pretend this conversation never happened?

 **Oniichan (7:40) CC:** Agreed.

 **Rei-kun (7:40) CC:** Yes, please.

 **Nagisa-kun (7:41) CC:** lol this is so goin on tfln l8r

Gou sighed and slid her phone shut. Sometimes managing a varsity sports team felt like babysitting a herd of greasy-faced toddlers who laughed at their own farts.

 

* * *

 

When lunch time rolled around, it came as no surprise that the topic of conversation quickly moved from the contents of their bentos to the one member of their clique who was very obviously absent. As per usual, Haruka kept silent throughout most of his friends' chattering, preferring to listen and having little to add to the current thread about Rin's latest social blunder, which was predictably more amusing to Nagisa than anyone else. The fact that Rei had asked Rin out on a romantic date, however, caught him off guard.

He eyed Rei with curiosity while chewing his mackerel. All the things Haruka had known him to do he had done with the best intentions and to what he believed would be the greatest benefit to those around him. When Rei and Rin interacted, it was like watching storm clouds gather over the ocean: electric, unpredictable, and utterly captivating.

Rei must also have been searching for the rainbow at the end of Rin's raging downpour, and Haruka knew from experience that it was certainly a sight worth seeing.

“And then he texted me wanting to know why you hadn't called him, so I just told him I didn't know because, hey, I _didn't_ and—” Nagisa stopped short to cram more bread in his mouth. “He got so mad. It was cute.”

“Please don't talk with your mouth full,” Rei chided gently, although it never did any good.

“Pff, yeah.” Gou made an irritated face. “Funny until he hurled his phone into the bookshelf. He's lucky it didn't _break_.”

“He just needs to reign in his anger issues.” Nagisa shrugged and took another bite of his bread.

“You could try teasing him less,” Gou muttered. “You know he's sensitive.”

“Hey, I'm not the one who told his morning wood story to everyone in a mass text,” he countered, a few soggy crumbs flying from his mouth.

Haruka nearly inhaled a sizable chunk of mackerel.

Blushing profusely, Makoto curled over his bento and whispered, “I thought we agreed not to talk about that.”

“No, _they_ did,” Nagisa was quick to point out, waving his bread around their circle of friends. Then, he nudged Rei with his elbow. “Hey, you never did say why.”

“Why what?” Rei asked.

“Why you haven't called Rin-chan.”

Rei smirked and pushed up his glasses. “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and the wait builds anticipation, like a bride and groom who part on their wedding day until time for the ceremony.”

“Whoa, Rei-chan...” Nagisa's eyes sparkled through the billowing spotty shade of the leaves overhead, and then he giggled and turned to tug on Gou's sleeve. “Would you listen to this guy?” he murmured low. “And you call _me_ a tease.”

 

* * *

 

Nagisa's laughter at everyone else's expense was quick to end when he opened his duffel bag in the locker room at Samezuka that afternoon. Fuming silently because anything that came out of his mouth would have been a loud, explicative neon sign attracting unwanted attention to his predicament, he whipped his phone out, snapped a picture of the bag's offensive contents, and started typing.

 **Sent! (Multiple recipients) (15:24)** alright which 1 of u shitheads did this

 **Neeichan (15:25)** WTF? Is that MOM'S BATHING SUIT???

 **Neesan (15:26)** omfg ahaahaaahaha

 **Neeichan (15:26)** It was probably Michiko.

 **Neesan (15:27) CC:** yeah, i wish i could take credit for this but no

 **Neenee (15:27)** For old times sake. Happy Friday! ;D

 **Neeichan (15:28) CC:** Wow, that was classic!

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:29)** this isnt funny!! i literally cant swim in this!!!

 **Neenee (15:29)** Sure you can! Just put it on and go~

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:30)** this is competitive swimming dumbass, the granny skirt would hav 2 much drag

 **Neenee (15:31)** I'm sure your little friends won't mind for just one day lol

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:31)** WERE HAVING JOINT PRACTICE @ SAMEZUKA. I HAVE 2 SWIM IN A RELAY SCRIMMAGE AGAINST THEIR TEAM.

 **Neesan (15:32) CC:** lol damn you fucked up

 **Neeichan (15:32) CC:** Way to go #2. Now mom's gonna yell at all of us.

 **Neenee (15:33) CC:** I didn't know! What the hell do you expect me to do about it now?

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:33)** bring me my jammers duh

 **Neenee (15:34)** What time does your practice start? Samezuka is on the other side of town!

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:34)** 15:45

 **Neenee (15:35)** Are you fucking serious? There's no way

 **Neeichan (15:36) CC:** Bullshit, I've seen you drive.

 **Neenee (15:36) CC:** I don't know where his thingy is

 **Sent! (Neenee) (15:37)** wherever u put it

 **Neesan (15:37) CC:** tic toc neenee! u got 8 mins, start looking

“Nagisa-kun?”

Startled, he quickly stuffed his phone in his pocket and hugged the bag against his chest to hide his mom's pink floral print bathing suit. “Ai-chan!”

“Why aren't you dressed yet? The guys are all waiting.” Aiichirou gave him a look that, up until then, he had only ever seen directed at Rin. The one where he looked confused and worried but somehow not surprised at all.

“I, uh... forgot my jammers?”

The look intensified.

Before Aiichirou could offer to grab one of the academy's spares from the supply closet, Rei burst through the door spewing a series of apologies and dropped his bag on the floor next to Nagisa's feet. The speed with which he undressed and suited up was impressive but nowhere near as fast as Rin or Haruka.

“Where have _you_ been?” Nagisa raised an eyebrow as Rei crammed his track suit into one of the empty lockers nearby.

“Niisan.”

“I thought you said your brother was in Tokyo.”

“We had such a _fun_ time last weekend that he decided to come home again _this_ weekend,” Rei explained tersely, removing his glasses and replacing them with goggles. “He skipped his last class so he could make it in time to watch us swim.”

“He's here right _now?_ ” Nagisa's jaw dropped, and he clutched his bag even tighter.

“When I last saw him, he was introducing himself to Captain Mikoshiba and probably embarrassing all of us.” Rei's eyes flicked down to Nagisa's arms. “Why aren't you dressed yet?”

“Um...” He glanced over at Aiichirou, who was also looking at him expectantly. Realizing he was cornered, he sighed in defeat and blushed lightly as he slowly loosened his hold on it, tilting the opening away from himself to reveal the pink bathing suit inside. “My sister. Pulled a prank on me.”

He received a twin pair of sympathetic frowns.

“It'll be okay,” Aiichirou assured him. “I'll go get you a spare.”

“ _No!_ ” Nagisa shouted, reaching out as though he were actually close enough to physically stop him. “I mean, uh. No, no, it's fine, haha!” He smiled and waved his extended hand casually. “My sister's on her way to bring me mine.”

Rei's frown deepened. “Well, I hope she's at least in the building because we've only got three minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, yes, I _am_ on a quest to embarrass every single character in this series.


	8. Gotta Get Down on Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiko brings Nagisa his proper swimsuit, Rin and Rei stare at each other, and the rival teams have a race.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I waited to post chapter 7 and chapter 8 at the same time because they sort of go together and also as sort of an apology for there not being a lot of RinRei smooching yet.

On the lower west side of the normally quiet fishing village of Iwatobi, a blue Honda Civic cut through after school traffic like a buzzsaw. To the native Iwatobians, only two things were more terrifying than Hazuki Keiko behind the wheel of a motor vehicle: the Yakuza and typhoons. This particular afternoon, the skies were clear and gang violence nonexistent.

“Outta my way, Grandpa!”

A delivery truck driver laid on his horn as she made a bumper-to-bumper pass in front of him and cut off a semi at the exit, earning her several more angry honks and a few rude gestures in return.

“Fuck you, too, assholes!” she shouted as her tires squealed, reaching the sharp curve at the end of the ramp. Flipping on her emergency lights as an afterthought, she gunned it as soon as the first tire hit the main highway. 

Then, her phone started blaring Nagisa's favorite song. Answering calls while weaving through traffic was nothing new to her, though, and neither was hearing her little brother whine hysterically over speakerphone.

“Where the hell _are_ you?!” He sounded so precious when he was desperate.

Setting the phone down in the driver's side cup holder, she stole a brief glance at the clock on her dash.

**15:42**

_Cutting it close._

“Calm down, Nagi, I'm almost there.”

“What do you mean _almost?_ ”

She swerved around a red convertible, narrowly missing the front bumper of a black SUV in the neighboring lane. “ _Move_ it, losers!”

“Oh my god, you're still _driving_ , aren't you?!” he screeched with a sort of tinny echo that meant either he was standing in a small enclosed area or the call was about to drop.

As she passed another vehicle, a sign with a shark on it and some kanji she couldn't quite make out was fast approaching on the side of the road.

“Okay, where's the entrance to this place? I think I see the sign. Is there a parking area for visitors?”

“Shit, I dunno! I've never _driven_ here!”

If she weren't flying down the highway, Keiko would've face-planted into the steering wheel.

“Hello? Keiko-san?” Someone with an unfamiliar, much deeper voice took the call. “Take a left at the next light.”

Which she proceeded to do, despite the fact that it was red and heavy with cross traffic. Several motorists were reasonably outraged and expressed their displeasure in a symphony of honks and colorful words shouted out of open windows.

“Were those your _tires?_ ” the deep-voiced stranger asked incredulously as though he'd never heard anyone drift through a red light.

“Shut up, kid, unless you're giving me directions!” she snapped irritably. “I see a little green sign with an arrow.”

“Turn in there.”

She hung a left just in time to avoid getting T-boned by a Volkswagen. “Alright, where's visitor parking?”

 

* * *

 

“Nagiiiiiiiii!”

The shrillness of its tone alone would've been enough to catch his attention, but combined with the cacophony of high-heeled footsteps echoing across the natatorium and the resulting murmurs amongst his team, Seijuurou found the sudden disturbance impossible to ignore.

“Alright, this is getting ridiculous. Who the hell is—?”

A short, doe-eyed blonde in a low-cut top, her modest breasts bouncing rhythmically with each step.

And they were getting _closer._

“Excuse me!” The girl waved a black jammer with pink stripes at him. “Could you tell me where the locker room is? I need to give this to my brother.”

He pointed absently. “Hallway on the left.”

“Okay, thank you.” And then she ran off without so much as sparing him a second glance.

By the time she made it halfway, he belatedly realized what he'd just done. “Wait!” he cried after her. “You can't just go _in_ there!”

But as her long flowing locks disappeared around the corner, no one made any attempt to stop her.

A minute later, she reemerged and made a beeline for him, tossing her thick curls over her shoulder. He followed the movements of her rosy painted lips very carefully as she inquired coyly, “You're Samezuka's captain, right?”

“Yes, that would be me.” He made a valiant effort to not look at her cleavage.

As she picked a stray lock of hair and twirled it around her finger, he could swear she batted her eyelashes at him. “Sorry about that. There was a little mixup at home.”

“So, your bro, huh?” In the excitement of the moment, Seijuurou had completely forgotten that the other Ryuugazaki was still standing next to him. “Which one of these half-pints is yours?”

She looked over her shoulder towards the locker room where Nitori, Ryuugazaki, and Hazuki had finally exited to begin their warmups. Ryuugazaki was attempting to demonstrate some kind of stretching position to the other two, but Hazuki completely ignored him in favor of watching Nanase take a dive off one of the starting blocks.

“The shorty in the black and pink,” the prettier Hazuki replied with a smirk, watching the events unfold. “As you can see, he's got the attention span of a goldfish.”

The more talkative Ryuugazaki chuckled. “Mine's the black and blue nerd doing a downward-facing dog next to that bowl cut kid.”

“Oh,” she cooed, sidling up disgustingly close to him. “I hear tell yours and mine are best friends.”

They locked eyes for a solid five seconds without blinking.

“That's what I've been told,” he agreed slowly, his gaze wandering down her shirt, and he licked his lips shamelessly.

Did they even _care_ that Seijuurou was there?

She slipped both hands around his upper arm and squeezed. “Are you a swimmer, too?”

“Track and field,” he answered smugly, flexing for her.

She cooed again and giggled as she traced her finger along the definition of his muscles.

“Years of pole vaulting, babe.” 

Yeah, this was starting to get nauseating. Seijuurou clutched the whistle around his neck, raised it to his lips, and blew. “Everybody hit the water! We've got a lot to do today!”

The elder siblings recoiled with matching bug-eyed expressions of surprise.

“Hey, you could've _warned_ us first!” Hazuki glowered at him.

“You two can stay and watch as long as you don't distract my boys, got it?”

“No problemo, Cap!” Ryuugazaki snaked his arm around Hazuki's and proceeded to drag her off... somewhere. As long as they were out of the way, Seijuurou didn't give a shit.

Then, Tachibana snuck up behind him from wherever he had been hiding, smiling like he was getting paid to do it. “Are we still doing the relay thing today?”

“Yeah, get your team together while I round up Matsuoka and the others.”

Tachibana's eyes lit up with excitement. “Right!”

 

* * *

 

When he finally caught sight of him, the other's stare shot through him like a laser beam from the opposite end of the natatorium. Despite the distance and the fact that Rin looked conflicted and irate, Rei's heart leapt in his throat and a sort of warm, tingly feeling spread from his chest to the tips of his toes. One of Rin's teammates tapped him on the shoulder and said something, to which Rin nodded, never once looking away.

It seemed absence really did do something.

“Hey, Rei-chan, are we going to practice our exchange?” Nagisa tugged his arm before noticing Rin and waving broadly to the other with unabashed enthusiasm. “Rin-chan!”

Rin cut his eyes to the pool and grimaced.

“Rin-chan!” Nagisa called again even louder.

Then, Rin sighed and skulked over to them, still visibly discontent. He gave Rei an expression of uncertainty and looked down at Nagisa. “What?”

Nagisa giggled. “Hi.”

Rin glared. “That's _it?_ ”

“Friends say hi to each other.”

“I'm unfriending you,” Rin deadpanned and made to leave, but Nagisa swiftly caught him by the wrist.

“Rin-chan,” he whined childishly.

The other stood stark still for an uncomfortable length of time before turning his head just enough to reveal a sly close-lipped smile. It was the only warning Nagisa received before Rin tackled him into the pool. A strip of the resulting spray refracted a rainbow of colors as it shimmered for a split second in the rays of sunlight filtering through the domed glass ceiling and drizzled at Rei's feet.

Nagisa surfaced like a wet kitten, all wide eyes and disheveled hair. “Rin-chan!” he whined again, though it soon gave way to a wide grin as Rin, who had poised himself like a crocodile with only his eyes above the water, snorted in amusement, sending a collection of tiny short-lived bubbles in Nagisa's direction.

Rousing laughter echoed across the natatorium, and Rei recognized one of the sources as Kaede, while the others were distinctly female.

Then, Captain Mikoshiba blew his whistle again. “Matsuoka! Hazuki! Quit horsing around and do your warm-ups!”

“Aye aye, Captain!” Nagisa replied with a mock salute.

Rin silently swam into the adjacent lane and pushed off the wall to begin a slow front crawl lap.

“You, too, Ryuugazaki! We're lining up for relays in fifteen minutes!”

 

* * *

 

As promised, the two relays teams lined up in neighboring lanes fifteen minutes later, and thank god for that because watching them swim laps and do individual time trials was starting to get boring. Not that Kaede didn't like being sandwiched between two pretty girls for extended periods of time, but that wasn't the reason he came here.

Okay, it was _a_ reason, he'd admit it. That Gou girl was quite a looker, and maybe if he got lucky enough, she'd fall in love with his triceps and share her number with him. But he was mostly here to watch his brother kick ass at swimming because he'd sadly missed all the competitions Iwatobi had entered, and he wanted to see what this so-called dazzling butterfly technique was all about.

Despite the fact that Rei had talked his ear off about Iwatobi's victory at prefecturals, some of the finer details about how competitive swimming actually worked had still managed to elude him. Fortunately, Gou had been helpful at filling him in as they watched the boys warm up. Swimming relays and track relays sounded similar enough. The tall guy with the amazing back muscles was their first leg, Keiko's hyperactive little brother was their second, Rei was their third, and that black-haired kid who kept staring intensely at Rin was their anchor.

Then, Gou grabbed her clipboard and stopwatch, abandoning their little spectator trio as Samezuka's Captain called her over to help keep time.

All eyes fell on the racing relay teams as the back strokers took off from the starting blocks and tore through the water like large marine animals. Iwatobi's pinged Kaede as a manatee kind of guy. Samezuka's reminded him more of a walrus. Both swimmers flipped gracefully as they reached the edge of the pool, though the walrus guy had a stronger kick that propelled him just a hair ahead of the manatee guy.

Then, Nagisa yelled something, probably their back stroker's name. Samezuka's breast stroker poised still as stone as he waited for his teammate to hit the wall before diving in and cutting down the lane like a pair of scissors.

“Go Nagisa!” Keiko yelled as the little guy dived off the block.

Despite being the smallest member of the team, he fought like hell to keep up with the competition, even gaining a little after the turn. Stretching his arms out as far as they could go, Nagisa's swimming style made him look like one of those little water spiders that skied around the shallow edges of lakes and ponds.

Back at the starting blocks, Rei and Rin side-eyed each other something fierce, like nothing else in the natatorium mattered. Not even their teammates rapidly approaching them.

 _Hella_ UST.

He'd have to remind Rei to wrap it before he tapped it later.

Having also picked up on the two's poorly-timed preoccupation with each other, Keiko cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “Eyes on the water, not your boyfriend!” which drew a few passing snickers from the Samezuka swimmers who weren't in the relay.

Nagisa hit the wall maybe a quarter of a second before Samezuka's breast stroker, and Rei made a perfect dive into the water without hesitation. Rin plunged in after him like a hungry great white, overtaking him before the turn and leaving him to eat waves after he kicked off the wall. This seemed to fuel Rei's determination to shorten the gap between them, but he only managed to avoid falling further behind.

It was a respectable attempt, though, and for that Kaede couldn't be prouder. If there was one great thing he could say about his brother, it was that no matter how badly Rei sucked at something, he never gave up trying to improve. Judging by the rousing cheers from his teammates as they helped pull him out of the pool, that had definitely been an improvement.

Still, Rei had left the anchor with a lot of time to make up, and those Samezuka guys didn't play around. Samezuka's freestyler hit the turn a full two seconds before Iwatobi's, but where the Samezuka guy looked like he was forcing the water out of his way to get ahead, the water itself appeared to part miraculously on its own around the Iwatobian.

Just who the hell _was_ that guy anyway? Freestyle Jesus?

The conclusion was too close to call from a distance, but Samezuka's captain said something to Gou, and they compared stopwatches. Then, Gou turned to face the competitors, raised her arm, and announced it:

Samezuka.

No one on either side seemed to be too thrilled about it, however, and the teams lined back up at the blocks to do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /unexciting non-cliffhanger ending
> 
> They'll be doing date things in the next chapter, I swear!


	9. The Chapter Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin and Rei have a tender moment in the locker room. Keiko suggests a visit to Junko's flower shop.

At the end of their scrimmage, the members of both teams took five to properly acquaint themselves with each other and discuss the strengths and weaknesses they saw in their counterparts. Rin, of course, already knew everyone, a fact that all the other swimmers were no doubt highly aware of and had carefully avoided mentioning, probably because they had been afraid it might somehow upset him, which they really didn't need to be because he was _fine_ now.

_Really._

But when he caught Rei dressing in the locker room after it was all over, standing the picture of cool and collected as he buttoned the last button on his shirt and adjusted his tie, Rin hesitated.

He hated to admit it, but even after their friendly reunion, watching his Iwatobi friends interact with Rei still felt a little like looking into a funhouse mirror and realizing that the distorted reflection staring back at him actually belonged to someone else. Though most days felt like he had never left at all, there were times when his lingering doubts ambushed him from the darkest recesses of his heart, and he caught himself waiting for the other shoe to drop. For them to test his loyalty. For them to demand repentance after brushing them off and ignoring them for so long.

Real people weren't that nice and forgiving, were they?

In his head, though, he knew that line of thinking was objectively ridiculous because these were his _friends_ and they had put up with all of his shit to still _be_ his friends. But the uneasy awareness that they could leave his life again as quickly as he'd boarded that plane to Australia had worked its way under his skin like a splinter.

“Rin-san?”

And then at some point during his personal introspection, Rei had moved to stand in front him.

_Shit._

Rin quickly leaned back against the lockers behind him and stuffed his hands in his pockets in an attempt to look like he hadn't been staring stupidly in Rei's direction while mulling over his worst fears and dreaming up numerous crazy unlikely ways in which they might come to pass.

“Um, uh...” He scraped his heel against the tile and forced a smile. “Gou said you made a personal best today.”

Yes, perfect conversation starter. No mentions of social inadequacy or dick pics or that date they were supposed to be going on that he still didn't know any details about and...

Wait, no.

Shit, they needed to talk about that before Rei left!

Grinning brightly from ear to ear like they hadn't gone five days without speaking, Rei replied, “I heard you did as well.”

And then Rin instantly hated himself for blanking on ways to steer the conversation elsewhere.

Cautiously trying to disguise the fragility of his healing self-image as nothing more than polite humility, he admitted softly, “Not by much.”

Fuck, he hated doing that.

He really should have just asked where they were going later.

Rei pushed up his glasses, the fire in his eyes practically glowing through the lenses. “Even a millisecond could mean the difference between gold and silver.”

Which, while technically true, somehow felt less than encouraging.

Rin knew better than any of them that the difference between first and second was also the difference between qualifying and going home. He knew what it felt like to hit the wall and keep the same time for almost a year, he knew what the Olympic records were for every event he had ever swam, and he knew exactly how far his times were from even the slowest bronze.

He dropped his gaze to floor. “I'll need to lose a lot more milliseconds than that.”

He just wasn't there yet.

“I'm certain you will,” Rei countered with a completely inappropriate level of optimism. “It is statistically impossible for someone of your tenacity not to continue improving.”

And then there was this guy, who had only learned how to swim a few months prior, insisting that Rin was a shoo-in for the national team like he knew what it felt like to be surrounded by swimmers of far greater skill and to come in last place at a competition and to continue racing against the odds despite it all with no guarantee of ever being anything other than average.

Because, well... Rei _did_ know.

Rei knew, and he was still talking like Rin's dream was reasonably attainable. At the end of the day, he asked for _Rin's_ advice on how to improve his stroke. Even when they had barely known each other and Rin thought himself lower than dirt, Rei had still looked at him as though he were truly _worth_ something.

“Rin-san?” The quiver of concern in Rei's voice was unmistakeable.

Rin wiped across his face with the back of his hand. “A speck of dust flew in my eye!”

 

* * *

 

“Flowers for Oniichan?”

“That's a great idea!”

“Yeah, Rin-chan _loves_ flowers!”

“I'll grab the bro, and we'll follow you there!”

“You do know you'll have to not drive like a maniac for him to do that, right, Neenee?”

“Oniichan's riding the train home with me tonight, so you'll have to come by the house to pick him up.”

“Wait, when does this place close?”

“Neechan stays open 'til six, right?”

“Dude, that's in, like, ten minutes!”

“Relax, we can text her to let her know we're coming.”

“Keiko-san?”

“Kei-chan?”

“Neenee, why are you making that face?”

Keiko's hand shot out abruptly, the end of her pink painted fingernail stopping millimeters from the tip of Gou's nose. “You. Go pry Rin-kun away from Rei-kun and make no mention of what we're planning.”

Gou blinked, going cross-eyed as she reflexively focused on the sudden finger in her face before taking a step back, rubbing her eyes, and blinking again. “Yeah, sure. Gotcha.”

“And you.” Keiko swung her arm to point up at Kaede, who merely smirked and continued staring past her hand at either her chin or her breasts. Most likely her breasts. “Grab Rei-kun and meet me in the parking lot.”

“Already on it, babe.” He corrected his line of sight to her eyes and winked in a way that he probably thought was charming before following Gou to the locker room. 

As if on cue, Rei and Rin emerged wearing their uniforms and complementing sappy expressions. Despite walking nearly shoulder-to-shoulder, though, they were apparently too embarrassed to make eye contact, sneaking glances when they thought the other wasn't looking like they had been up to something questionable.

It was disgustingly adorable.

“What about me, Neenee?” Nagisa piped up excitedly, both hands clamped around her wrist.

“Grab your stuff, get in the car, and shut up until we get to Neechan's.”

He then pouted pitifully and turned on the extreme sad puppy face. “Neenee is so _mean_.”

That was also disgustingly adorable.

Not that she would ever tell him that.

Regardless, he huffed and shouldered his backpack, taking off to where his little friends and Kaede had gathered. In the time it took Keiko to catch up with them, Rin hurriedly waved goodbye as Gou proceeded to drag him in a direction that Keiko was pretty sure didn't lead to any outside exits, which seemed odd until she remembered that Samezuka was a boarding school, which meant that Rin had a room on campus where he could be conveniently confined while she and Nagisa made off with the Ryuugazakis.

_Perfect._

“See you tomorrow, Mako-chan, Haru-chan!” Nagisa called as the really tall kid and the freestyle miracle worker returned his wide full-armed wave with significantly less exuberance and exited through a set of double doors on the other side of the pool.

Keiko whipped out her phone.

 **Sent! (17:52)** Have you started closing yet?

 **Neechan (17:53)** Not for another 2 hours. I stay open later on weekends. Why?

 **Sent! (17:54)** Nagi's friend has a hot date tonight and I wanted to send him to the best florist in town.

 **Neechan (17:54)** Great! When is he coming?

A pair of deliciously muscular forearms settled on each of her shoulders. “Ready when you are.”

 

* * *

 

His stomach flipped as the passenger side window passed within touching distance of a cement mixer, the deep honk of a utility truck fading in the distance as Keiko then sped through a changing yellow light. 

There was no question that Nagisa would be the first among his friends to proclaim his undying love of thrill rides, but this ride in particular ran the very real risk of ending a little deadlier than an embarrassing photo finish. If not for his boundless compassion and protective nature when it came to his friends, he would've totally ditched and took the train home.

“Slow down! There's no way they can follow us like this!”

“Shut up, dweeb!”

He turned his head to protest, witnessing the exact moment her face twisted into an alarming scowl as she checked her rearview mirror.

“I can still see his shitty Hyundai,” she spat.

“Are you _trying_ to lose them?!”

He had only a split second to brace himself against the door before the car lurched sideways, rear tires squealing as they whipped around a notoriously dangerous curve leading to the steep local landmark known simply as “the hill”. As Keiko righted the steering, he caught a good look in the side mirror of the fresh black streaks left behind, the longer of which stretched from the middle of the left lane to the grassy shoulder that sloped into a ditch the size of a creek.

Then, the phone in his pocket chimed.

 **Rei-chan (18:03)** Could you please ask your sister to slow down? I mean no offense, but her erratic driving is difficult to follow.

 **Sent! (18:03)** u think i havnt tried????

 **Sent! (18:03)** THIS IS NOT HOW I WANNA DIE!!

If he hadn't put on his seatbelt, in fact, Nagisa was pretty sure that his head would've cracked against the dashboard as she braked hard enough to burn rubber a second time, barely clearing the sharp turn at the next intersection. Once the road began the steady incline towards their destination, she took one fleeting glance in the rearview and floored it, knocking him flat against his seat.

If by some miracle he survived the rest of the ride, Keiko was _so dead_.

His phone chimed again.

 **Rei-chan (18:04)** Which way did you turn after the curve? We're approaching a three-way stop!

 **Rei-chan (18:04)** PLEASE HURRY!

“Oh my _god_.” Groaning in frustration, Nagisa slumped down and slapped his hands over his eyes. “Good job, _Keiko_. Now they're lost!”

Rather than the continued yelling and aggressive vehicular acrobatics he had expected, his complaints were met with complete silence.

Then, she let out a light chuckle. 

Confused, angry, and somewhat terrified, he cautiously peeked over his fingers to find a seemly genuine smile on her face, to which he clenched his fists and pouted. “This isn't funny!”

Without any explanation or warning, the car started coasting down to a reasonable speed, and Keiko gently tapped the brakes to slow down and actually stop at a stop sign.

“Hey, Nagi.” She sounded calm.

Too calm.

“What?”

Like they hadn't just gone through a high speed chase that probably broke every traffic law in the country, she smirked, switched on her left blinker, and replied, “Tell your friend his brother owes me 1,000 yen.”

“ _What?_ ”

She side-eyed him knowingly and glanced in each mirror as if she actually cared that there were other vehicles behind them, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel while waiting for cross traffic to pass. “I told Kaede that I was a professional driver for a Honda commercial, and he didn't believe me, so I bet him he couldn't tail me all the way to the hill.”

“That's mean, and we almost died,” Nagisa replied humorlessly.

But the part of him imagining what Rei's panicked face must have looked like while typing that last text made him giggle.

“Oh, _now_ it's funny, huh?” Keiko leered at him.

Pretending to still be angry, he crossed his arms and frowned. “Just don't ever do that again!”

At that, she snickered softly, which quickly grew into peals of really gross snorting laughter. “I make no promises.”

After the last car crossing passed, she pulled out smoothly into the final turn of their death-defying journey. They were finally on top of the hill with Hazuki's Flowers & Gifts in sight.

Nagisa sighed in relief.

“Oh, by the way...” Keiko made a vague gesture at his phone. “Did you ever tell them which way we were going?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you had to wait three months for this shit, but I said I'd continue it, and I am! And I'll have you know that season 2 is currently _killing_ me, oh my god.
> 
> Fucking _vitamin cookies_.
> 
> Also, I feel the need to clarify in case if there has ever been any confusion: This fic takes place in the space of time between season 1 and season 2. I'm trying to maintain some sense of continuity with canon, but there is a pretty good chance I'm going to eventually get jossed. If and when that happens, I'll just tag it as canon divergent or UA or something. If this fic keeps going long enough, I'd love to add Sousuke and Momo to the mix because wow cute.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and being patient! <3


	10. A Rose by Any Other Name (Would Be as Costly)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're doing the date thing, I swear.

Under any other circumstance, Junko would have lamented that the shop was free of customers during regular business hours. Between Keiko's rapid-fire nattering and Nagisa freaking out at whoever was on the phone, however, even one potential client might have driven her to an early grave.

She leaned against the counter and massaged her temples, debating whether to grab the flask out of her purse.

“You tried picking him up using the car commercial line, didn't you?”

Which would have brought Keiko's sad attempts up to a grand total of fourteen and, yes, she was keeping count.

“I can't believe it actually worked,” Keiko admitted candidly, looking every bit as surprised as Junko wasn't.

She slapped her palm against her forehead and sighed. “Okay, anybody who's _that_ dumb does _not_ need to be dating my sister.”

Since honesty was apparently scandalizing, Keiko's jaw dropped. “I never said he believed it!” Then, she threw her hands up like a dramatic baby. “That's why we raced!”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Junko groaned, burying her face in her hands.

To add to her frustrations, the door signal chimed, announcing the arrival of at least one witness to her family's hysterics.

“Rei-chan!” Nagisa's excited footsteps dashed away from the cooler, followed by a suspicious thump and the sound of something clattering out of place. “Heh, whoops.”

Junko winced and scrunched her eyes shut tighter, praying that wasn't the vintage tea set on display at the center of the store.

Immediately after, Keiko's heels clacked in the same direction at a much more reasonable pace, thankfully without damaging any merchandise. “Kaede!”

“Hey, this is a cozy little place you got here,” someone at the front of the store commented in a douchey baritone.

“It's beautiful!” another deep-voiced stranger agreed.

Then, the idiotic chatter flared up again, and Junko reluctantly peeped over her fingers to see what they were doing.

It was every bit as ridiculous as their conversations suggested. Nagisa had the flustered glasses kid by both hands, leading him to the cooler and blabbering on about how Junko stocked “every flower you could think of!” which was sweet and did her job for her a little bit, so she let it pass without comment. Meanwhile, Keiko had latched onto the other guy's arm like a barnacle, whispering in his ear about something funny, judging by his laughter.

They were making a beeline for Junko.

_Motherfuck it to hell._

“Neechan, this Ryuugazaki Kaede,” Keiko informed her as soon as they stopped at the counter. “Kaede, this is my sister Junko.”

In no way surprising, Kaede bowed deeply like an obnoxious twat. “Very pleased to make your acquaintance...” And when he rose upright, the skeezy wink he gave dripped with all the sex appeal of a used condom. “...Neechan?”

Junko glared icily. “Absolutely not.” 

“Jun-chan?”

“ _Hazuki_ -san will be fine.”

 

* * *

 

Nagisa's breath left a foggy patch of condensation on the glass door of the cooler as he pointed out all the flowers he thought Rin might like.

“—but not the ones in here because she uses fresh cuts, and she also does Ikebana, but those are super expensive—”

Rei tuned out most of it, recalling the heart-pounding fantasy he'd conjured in the pizzeria parking lot before asking Rin out, the one where Rin adoringly accepted a voluminous bouquet of red roses while blushing like a June bride. The perfect image of pure, true romance had been plaguing his idle thoughts all week.

He simply _had_ to make it a reality.

“—so cute because you two are both—”

“What about roses?” he ventured distantly, cutting into Nagisa's spiel about butterfly orchids.

Nagisa extracted his face from the cooler with interest.

“Red roses. Those are... conventional and romantic, are they not?” Rei continued, a bit unnerved at the way Nagisa seemed to be staring through his soul.

“Do you really mean that?” he implored, tone unreadable.

Rei blinked. “What?”

His features contorting to an alarming expression of distress, Nagisa clutched either side of Rei's head and pulled him down to eye level. “You can't just give him red roses if you don't mean it!”

“Don't mean what? What do I not mean?!”

“The red roses!”

“What _about_ the roses?!”

With his neck already beginning to feel the strain of poor posture, Rei squirmed in Nagisa's vice-like grip. Then, the fingers twisted into his hair loosened, allowing him to straighten back to full height.

As quickly as it had settled, the desperation in Nagisa's demeanor lifted, and he broke into a fit of giggles, resting his forehead against Rei's chest. 

“Nagisa-kun?”

Just as Rei began to fear that there might be something wrong with his friend, Nagisa snaked his hands up to grip Rei's shoulders, flashed him a sunny smile, and asked innocently, “You haven't researched flower language, have you?”

 

* * *

 

No less than two minutes after walking through the door to the Matsuoka residence, Gou had casually side-stepped their mother's small talk by announcing that she and Rin were going into his room for some brother-sister bonding time. Which, Rin supposed, was somewhat true, though he wouldn't necessarily consider digging through his closet to find the most regrettable shirts he had ever owned an appropriate activity to bond over.

They had to have been at this for at least an hour.

“Oo, you should wear _this_ one!”

He sighed and rolled over to see what his sister had excavated from the years' worth of abandoned clothing buried in his closet, wincing as she waved the neon orange tank top at him. “Don't you think that's a little flashy for a first date?”

“It'll show off your fabulous muscles,” she explained, as if exposing his totally pumped arms justified blinding everyone in the vicinity.

“So? Rei's already _seen_ my—” Everything. Rei had literally seen everything, and Gou knew that, so she probably knew how that sentence was supposed to end, and god why did everything have to keep coming back to _that?_ Rin felt the blood rushing to his face.

Gou raised an eyebrow at him quizzically, the offensively molten-colored shirt dangling from the straps hooked over her fingers.

“My, um... Like, Rei, he—he sees my muscles all the _time_ , so. Maybe I should wear something a little nicer?”

Despite all of his fumbling, that amazingly seemed to be a convincing enough argument, as Gou then disappeared halfway into the closet again without a word, presumably to put that fashion disaster back where it belonged. Moments later, she pulled out a black pinstriped buttondown and held it up.

“What about this one?”

“Wha—we're not going anywhere _fancy!_ ”

Not to mention it probably didn't fit anymore. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd worn that.

She frowned and put her hand on her hip. “Well, where _are_ you going?”

“I dunno,” Rin grumbled, flopping back onto his bed. “He just told me to dress casual.”

So, back into the closet it went.

As Gou continued to rummage around for something else, he laid back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if Kaede was throwing as much of a fit over Rei's outfit.

Suddenly, Gou let out an excited gasp. “Oniichan!”

_Probably not._

When he propped up on his elbows to see her next unfortunate selection, Rin nearly fell over. He had tried throwing away the rainbow zigzag patterned sweater on numerous occasions, but it somehow always mysteriously respawned in the back of his closet.

“Fun and casual!” Gou proclaimed with a smile.

Rin scowled. “ _Burn it._ ”

“But it's so cute,” she insisted in that manipulative little sister tone, bottom lip wibbling slightly. 

“So, why don't _you_ wear it?”

“Because it doesn't _fit_ me.” To prove her point, she held it up against her body comparatively, showing that the bottom hem fell almost to her knees and the sleeves were long enough to completely cover her hands.

Okay, he would admit that on Gou the eyesore stood a chance of looking cute, but there was no way in hell Rin would ever be caught dead in it. He crossed his arms, deepening his frown. “Belt it and call it a sweater dress. No one'll know the damn difference.”

With an aggravated sigh, she rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Then, how about...” In a surprise flourish, she flipped the hanger over to reveal a godawful yellow Hawaiian shirt hidden behind the sweater. “This!”

“What?!” Rin's jaw dropped. That thing was even more hideous than the sweater! “How'd _that_ get in there?”

“I dunno. You tell me,” Gou snarked, poking at one of the pineapple-shaped buttons.

“That's not even mine!”

She fixed him with a look and swung the hanger back and forth on her index finger. “Then what's it doing in your closet, huh?”

Rin sputtered. “I-I don't know! I've never seen that shirt before in my life!”

“Hmm...” Gou touched a thoughtful finger to her lips, brows furrowed in concentration. “I guess Mom must've put it in there while you were gone.”

“Why would Mom even _have_ that?!”

 

* * *

 

In the end, Nagisa and his sisters had talked Rei into buying a mixed bouquet that was frankly much too large for the occasion. With some skill and ingenuity on Junko's part, the selection managed to convey most of the feelings Rei wanted to express while still remaining balanced and beautiful. He couldn't remember the names of all the flowers that were in it, but they were mostly varying shades of purple, held a central theme of intrigue and admiration, and cost him well over half of what he had planned on spending for the night.

Depending on one's definition of lucky, Rei was either fortunate or cursed that Kaede had then offered to drive him over to the Matsuokas' when the time came, saving him the cost of train fare and roughly fifteen minutes of trekking down the sidewalk in his best shoes while holding a garden's worth of flowers.

But that's not to say that it didn't still come at a price.

“I dunno, I thought your sis was pretty cool.”

“Yeah, and I'm pretty sure she hates you. Did you really have to try calling her Jun-Jun before we left?”

Kaede and Keiko had decided to go on a date of their own, which meant enduring both them at the same time from the back seat of a small passenger vehicle.

“Hey, I was just trying to be friendly. C'mon, it wasn't _that_ bad.”

“Not that _bad?_ If your brother wasn't a paying customer, she probably would've thrown you out.”

“Really, Kei-chan. I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is.”

“I am _not_. You know what? From now on, if you meet any more of my family, just don't say _anything_ until I tell you to, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Ex _cuse_ me?”

“What? I said _yeah_.”

“You said 'Yeah' like you're blowing me off.”

“No, I said 'Yeah' like I'm calmly agreeing with you.”

“Well, try calmly agreeing in a way that sounds more like you give a shit about not pissing off my family.”

Rei sighed as they finally pulled into the driveway. This was going to be the longest night of his life.

Breaking from his building argument with Keiko, Kaede chuckled. “Yo, bro. Looks some other dude beat you here.”

Perplexed by very idea, Rei looked out the window to ensure that Kaede wasn't playing some stupid joke on him.

But there he was: a tall man with a muscular build and blond hair, wearing a gray pantsuit and slick black dress shoes. The bouquet of red roses in his right hand suggested that he, too, had arrived to pick up a date. A _serious_ date.

But who?

By the time Rei climbed out of the car, carefully extracting the purple floral mass behind him, whoever it was had already reached the doorstep. More than a little curious, he double-timed it to the door, arriving just as the man rang the doorbell.

He startled, nearly dropping the roses as he noticed Rei's presence, and Rei gaped when he recognized the man's face.

“Coach Sasabe?!”

“Oi, Rei! You scared me for a minute there.” He clutched his left hand against his chest. “Don't go sneaking up on an old man like that.”

“Wh-what...?”

Completely ignoring Rei's shock and confusion, Sasabe pointed at his massive bouquet. “You come here to steal my date?” he prodded playfully. “It's true Matsuoka-san's a rare beauty, but I'm afraid her tender heart's already won.”

To the best of Rei's understanding, Sasabe was a trusted authority figure from his friends' childhood, a man they now looked up to for advice and moral support. Imagining this man with his weathered hands caressing Gou's innocent adolescent face, kissing her the way Rei's father kissed his mother, well.

Rei, for lack of a more concise term, freaked the fuck out.

“Coach, don't you think this is more than a little unethical?! Just because it's legally permissible doesn't mean that you should!”

But Sasabe merely laughed. “Rei, this is the modern era. A woman's heart gets lonely, too, you know. Once you're my age, you'll understand.”

“At your age, she's much too young for you!”

“Too young? Wait, how old do you think I _am?_ ”

Before Rei's head could explode, the door finally opened, revealing Mrs. Matsuoka dressed up in a chic black evening gown.

“Goro dear, you're here early!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't seriously think I was going to make Keiko a professional driver, did you? ~~Actually, that will be a plot point later for something else.~~
> 
> And, yes, surprise pairing at the end there. LET THIS SHIP SET SAIL~* 8U


	11. Taking Out the Trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They take an entire chapter to leave the house. Conflict happens.

“Rei-kun! You’re looking sharp this evening. Now who, might I ask, are _those_ for?”

Mrs. Matsuoka was such a sweet and unassuming woman that Rei had honestly not expected any type of confrontation, much less at the eleventh hour on her doorstep. She was smiling cheerfully at him, but he knew well that a pleasant face didn’t always mean a pleasant mood, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset her before they had even left the house.

Then, it occurred to him that he’d never explicitly asked for her permission first. That would’ve been the _proper_ thing to do before showing up with flowers and impure thoughts about her son, but he’d been so distracted with perfecting the details of his romantic notions that he’d completely failed to consider her feelings on the matter.

For the umpteenth time that day, Rei began to panic.

What if Mrs. Matsuoka didn’t approve of Rin dating in high school? What if she didn’t approve of _Rei?_

_How could he have been so thoughtless and irresponsible?!_

“These are, um…” The tiniest pinpricks of nervous sweat broke out along his hairline.

She and Coach Sasabe were both staring at him expectantly, and if he didn’t think of some way to fix this…

Well, he _had_ to fix it! There was simply no other option!

“I—” Proceeding with the first course of action he thought of to rectify his negligence, Rei took a deep breath and bowed, presenting Mrs. Matsuoka with the bouquet as though he had brought it for this specific purpose. “—would like to formally request your permission to take Rin out on a date!”

His display was met with uncomfortable silence.

_Why…?_

A lone bead of sweat trickled down his forehead.

 _Why didn’t anyone_ tell _him that courtship would be this_ difficult?!

_So many preparations he should have thought of!_

The only sound he heard above the rapid pulse of blood rushing through his ears was the increasing volume of heavy footsteps as they approached from within the house.

“Rei. What are you doing?”

Rather than descending into further panic, however, Rei sighed quietly in relief. His perplexed and frequently irritable lifeboat for escaping this sinking wreck of a conversation had finally arrived.

Since Mrs. Matsuoka had yet to say anything or otherwise audibly react, Rei lifted his head—just in time to witness the unique blend of shock, denial, and grief as it blossomed over Rin’s face.

“Mom, your date is _Coach Sasabe?!_ ”

Mrs. Matsuoka frowned apologetically. “I tried to tell you, sweetheart, but you disappeared into your room as soon as you came home.”

His flowers and request for permission forgotten, Rei stood upright and adjusted his glasses, bracing himself for what looked to be an oncoming explosion, if Rin’s misty-eyed glare were any indication.

“Whatever,” Rin sneered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“We’re going to _talk_ about this as a family when I get home, okay?” Mrs. Matsuoka looked up at him earnestly and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Curling his lip in disgust, Rin shrugged it off and gritted his teeth. “ _Fine._ ”

And then Rei hypothesized that death glares were a genetically linked trait carried on the X chromosome.

“ _Don’t_ get an attitude with me.”

Though it wasn’t a particularly loud reprimand, Rin recoiled like a hot pistol.

Using only the tips of her fingers, Mrs. Matsuoka carefully lifted his chin from where he’d turned away. “I expect you home by ten,” she continued softly, in that motherly stern-but-loving tone. “I’ll be keeping my phone on, so if anything goes wrong, you _call_ me.”

Despite the tears welling up, Rin nodded. “Yes, Mom.”

Rei couldn’t help anxiously shuffling from foot to foot as their emotional exchange progressed from awkward to embarrassingly private. Even Coach Sasabe, who wisely kept his mouth shut through it all, looked edgier than during their notorious non-regulation relay swap at regionals.

“Here, I’ll put these in some water.” Mrs. Matsuoka held out both hands, and Coach Sasabe casually passed her the roses. When she made eye contact with Rei, however, Rei… hesitated.

Hesitated, but handed them over anyway because the moment he’d dreamed of was long gone, and there was no getting it back. He stared at his shoes in disappointment as she stepped over the threshold.

That wasn’t at all how this scene was supposed to play out. Rin was supposed to blush and coo, not cry and snarl at his mother, Sasabe wasn’t even supposed to _be_ here, and Kaede certainly wasn’t supposed to be yelling at them from across the driveway to pick up the pace.

“Yo, dudes, what’s up? I thought we were _going_ somewhere!”

Keiko leaned against Kaede’s shoulder and helpfully honked the horn for emphasis.

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god, are they still _arguing?_ What the fuck are they doing?” Keiko rolled down her window and poked her head out, hoping to overhear some clue as to what had gotten Rei’s boyfriend so worked up.

Was he always that goddamn emotional?

Despite having one less layer of glass between the scene and her ears, Keiko could make out nothing Rei said as he raised his outstretched palms to Rin like the kid was a raging bonfire. While Rei blabbered at him, Rin crossed his arms tightly against his chest and watched the grass grow.

It was as though they were intentionally making zero effort to move.

Kaede drummed his fingers against the steering wheel and sighed. “Do you want _me_ to honk this time?”

Then, Rei finally stepped off the stoop with Rin in tow.

“Wait, no, here they come. Crank it.”

The engine woke with a stuttered whine as Kaede turned the key.

On their stupidly slow journey to the car, Rei and Rin ambled close enough together to hold hands but for some reason didn’t, Rin in particular seeming especially focused on keeping his hands out of reach. If Keiko were a betting woman (which she was), she’d put all her money against the possibility of there being a second date in their future.

Which was unfortunate because they were so cute together at the swim meet.

“Wow, _really?_ ”

Keiko nearly jumped out of her skin at Kaede’s unexpectedly loud objection to… something. She cautiously glanced over her shoulder at his eyes and followed his line of sight to Rin, who was apparently being pulled to the car only by the force of Rei’s gravitational field and still looking glum about whatever.

There was nothing obviously offensive going on that she could figure. Unless Kaede just had it out for emo kids.

Regardless of the reason, Kaede felt intensely angered, wearing a scowl that looked strangely unnatural on his face. “Is he wearing plaid _flannel?_ On a _date?_ I don’t care how much Rei spent on those flowers, I’m not letting that dude in my car.”

Keiko blinked slowly.

_Clothes?_

Of all things, Kaede was offended by Rin’s _clothes_.

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Are you seriously sitting here criticizing another guy’s fashion choices?”

Then, Kaede turned his scowl on Keiko. “Are you seriously implying that flannel is somehow acceptable for a first date?”

He could _not_ be serious.

There was no reason to get this worked up over a stupid ugly outfit.

“So you’re gonna, what, lock the _doors_ on them?”

Which he apparently thought was a great idea, as then he pressed the switch on the door, doing exactly that. “Either he takes it off or he does not get in the car.”

Keiko shook her head and rested her forehead in her palm. At no point during any of their admittedly few interactions did Kaede ever give the slightest hint that he might be some kind of batshit fashion critic.

“What if whatever he’s wearing under it looks even worse?” She pressed the switch on her side of the car to unlock it.

“We’re at his house still,” Kaede countered, locking the doors back. “He could run inside and change his shirt at _least._ ”

“Kaede… no.” She pressed the switch again.

“Stop unlocking the doors! This is _my_ car!”

Before he could relock them, however, Keiko snatched his hand from the controls and firmly planted it on his knee. “You are _not_ making a stupid scene out of this.”

Positively scandalized, Kaede opened his mouth to object, but not fast enough.

“The sooner we _leave_ here, the sooner you can _see my tits_ ,” Keiko reasoned reasonably.

Then, all the tension immediately drained from his body.

“Just this once,” he conceded, nodding agreeably. “He can ride in my car looking like a hobo _just this once_.”

 

* * *

 

 **Sent! (19:08)** Your brother keeps looking at me funny.

Similarly, Rei looked at his phone funny.

“Why are you texting me this?” he whispered. “We’re sitting right next to each other.”

To which Rin could only glare because the answer should have been fucking obvious.

 **Sent! (19:09)** I don’t want him to hear us.

Rei frowned as though he were extremely put upon by the simple task of keeping quiet as he typed his reply.

 **Rei (19:09)** Well, what do you expect me to do about it?

 **Sent! (19:10)** IDK, I just thought you might know what crawled up his ass between practice and 5 minutes ago.

 **Rei (19:11)** I haven’t the slightest. He’s rarely angry, and when he is, it’s usually over something trivial. He’ll be over it pretty quickly, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

 **Sent! (19:12)** He didn’t find out about the relay, did he?

 **Rei (19:12)** If he did, he hasn’t said anything to me, and I’d be the first person he would complain to.

 **Sent! (19:13)** What about that picture? You deleted it, right? Like there’s no way he saw my dick?

 **Rei (19:14)** We would never hear the end of it if he had.

 **Sent! (19:14)** But you DID delete it, tho. Right?

Rei shifted in his seat and stared at the contents of his hand for way too long, which meant that either he had been too embarrassed to look at the dickpic again or he had been keeping it around for its original intended purpose the entire time.

Rin didn’t want to know which.

 **Sent! (19:17)** OMG REI YOU STILL HAVE IT?! YOU GOTTA DELETE IT!!

As soon as he read the message, Rei glanced over at Rin with a light rouge coloring his cheeks.

As if _he_ had anything to be embarrassed about.

 **Rei (19:17)** Right now while we’re still in the car?

If Rin could ignite things with the power of his mind, Rei’s phone would have exploded.

 **Sent! (19:18)** YES RIGHT NOW! I WANNA SEE YOU DO IT!

 **Rei (19:18)** Fine, I’ll delete it! Just give me a few seconds.

Had he been mindful of their proximity to a parking space, however, Rin definitely would’ve reconsidered his deletion ultimatum. As Rei tapped the screen, scrolled down, tapped it again, and swiped across it several times to find the image, the car came to a gradual stop.

But it was the sudden lack of music and chatter from the front seat that caught the two’s attention just long enough for Nagisa’s sister to decide that their business was also her business.

“Hey, you guys have been awfully quiet back there. Something wrong?”

Rei immediately hid the screen of his phone against his shirt. “Nothing!”

She peeked around the headrest of her seat and cocked an eyebrow. “It sure doesn’t _sound_ like nothing.”

“I—I was just, uh. Showing Rin-san a picture of a c—cat.”

But the dumb lie only heightened Keiko’s interest. “Oo, I love kitties! Lemme see!”

And she had the reflexes of a cat, too, for which Rei was grossly unprepared as she whipped her arm around the seat, jammed her fingers between his, and tugged the phone with a strong enough force to slip it from his grip without a struggle.

Then, it was as if time and space had slowed down to a crawl for the specific purpose of stretching Rin’s pain out for as long as possible.

“Wait!” Rei all but screamed, reaching out a mere millisecond too late to stop it.

If the situation hadn’t made him want to jump off the nearest cliff, Rin would’ve laughed at the way Keiko’s eyes bulged and her mouth twisted to wrinkle the skin on one side of her nose as she came to realize what was actually on that screen.

“ _Jesus!_ ” she shouted, surprisingly in English, which Rin would’ve also found amusing.

To top it all off, Kaede snatched the phone from her to see what all the fuss was about.

“Holy shit, bro! Is this _your_ dick?!”

Rei looked like he would rather confess to murder. “No! It’s not mine, I swear!”

Keiko gave him a scrutinous onceover. “So, you’re showing him some _other_ guy’s dick?”

Rin’s face heated up like a furnace in anticipation of what would surely come next. So, he buried it in his hands and prayed for the garbage gods to teleport him to the nearest dumpster where he belonged.

“No! No, no, no!” Rei continued his mantra of denial.

“Well, if it’s not yours, and it’s not some other— _Oh my god_. Oh my GOD.”

“Babe?”

“ _Kaede._ ”

“Keiko-san! Niisan, no!”

“Ho. Ly. Fucking shit. Are you for real?”

“Niisan, please!”

“Bro, you never told me Jaws was carrying a _nightstick_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tears out of the ground and punches a tombstone* I'M ALIVE!
> 
> Feel free to poke me on [Tomblar](http://sparklingganymede.tumblr.com/) or [Twatter](https://twitter.com/7thRockAlien) next time I die like that, yeah?


	12. The Big D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our merry band goes to the movies! Rin and Rei take a romantic moonlit walk on the beach. Keiko and Kaede might be getting development kinda sorta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has ever been cockblocked by the coast guard.

They had been staring at the posters on display outside of IwaMovie for at least ten minutes in mutual silence. Kaede and Keiko had already bought tickets and entered, leaving Rin and Rei to discuss their options, although it wasn’t like there were many to choose from. The theater only had eight screens.

Since the date had been Rei’s idea, Rin assumed that he must have had something in mind for them, but…

Rin glanced sidelong at him.

Rei was standing there red-faced, fidgeting and muttering to himself like he was alone in his own personal bubble.

 _Had he planned_ nothing _beforehand?_

That didn’t sound much like the Rei Rin knew. Overthinking things to the point of psyching himself out, however, had almost drowned him, so maybe it wasn’t _so_ uncharacteristic.

Still, it was just the two of them at the movies, hanging out together like they would have with any of their other friends. At least, it would have seemed more that way if Rei hadn’t been dressed to the nines with his hair slicked back like there was someone special around for him to impress.

Didn’t that dork say that this was supposed to be _casual?_

Rin could have _sworn_ Rei said casual.

But he had also been convinced that their outing was nothing more than a simple one-on-one hangout labeled as a date to make him feel like less of an ass for that dick pic. As it stood, Rei’s bizarre radio silence over the week had made it clear that although he might care for Rin in some way, he also didn’t find him all that interesting or important.

Which was perfectly fair. Rin knew he wasn’t a very likeable person, and sharing the same group of friends didn’t make Rei obligated to like him.

Except friends didn’t usually bring their friends flowers whenever they just wanted to hang out.

Sentimental, custom arranged, probably very _expensive_ flowers.

Rei could have easily bought Rin something simple (or nothing at all), and it would have been perfectly acceptable. Expected, even. Yet he had chosen to go all out (ha!), almost like he considered the date a challenge to see who could make the most romantic gesture. What the prize might be, Rin wasn’t sure, but legitimate date or not, he loved a good challenge, and he clearly had some catching up to do.

He gave Rei a gentle nudge. “So… what are we seeing?”

“Ah?!” Rei startled back into reality and readjusted his glasses. “I—I wanted to let _you_ choose!”

“Well, you were the one that wanted to come here, so I figured you had something in mind.”

“I don’t have a preference. Any movie you want to see is—”

“Great! Let’s go for a walk.” Because like hell if he was going to get upstaged by some prettyboy actor, and Rin knew just where to take Rei to knock his fancy socks off. It would only take them a few minutes by foot before they’d be truly alone.

“What?”

“I said ‘Let’s go for a walk’.”

“I heard what you said,” Rei insisted, although he didn’t appear to have comprehended a word of it. “But it’s getting dark.”

“So?” Rin swept his arm in the general direction of the ocean. “Haven’t you ever heard of moonlit walks on the beach?”

 

* * *

 

As small a town as Iwatobi was, it took little effort to escape the commercial district. Rin had been tempering the silence with idle comments about the weather, the sky, the tide, and an odd complaint about a recent change in the market price of octopus.

A shining beacon in the night sky, the moon was bright but only half-full. The perfect lack of cloud coverage allowed a clear view of the emerging stars as the last light of the sun faded over the horizon. Distant red and white lights from boats docked in the harbor rose to blend with the stars as Rin led them closer to sea level. It wasn’t exactly the part of the beach Rei had pictured, but the rustic nautical scene held its own beauty.

He only realized that he must have stopped to admire the scenery when he felt a warmth surround his hand and give him a light tug.

“Heh, it _is_ kinda pretty. But that’s not where we’re going.”

And Rin was smiling. A soft, gentle, barely there smile that twisted Rei’s viscera in a way that should not have been anatomically possible.

He had heard others refer to the sensation as the feeling of butterflies fluttering in one’s stomach, but that also would have been impossible, as the acidic bile would break down their delicate wings almost instantly, rendering them flightless and dead.

No, this was _pleasant_. A feeling he definitely wanted more of.

“Where are we going?” he asked, giving Rin’s hand a complementary squeeze.

“I told you, didn’t I? We’re taking a moonlit walk on the beach.”

“Well, yes. I get that, but…”

Rin didn’t elaborate.

They continued hand-in-hand to Rin’s lead, the lights from the docks shrinking behind them as they walked further and further along the beach. This time, there was no commentary to cover the sound of waves lapping against the shore. No complaints, no observations. Until, finally, Rin stopped.

Their apparent destination seemed rather arbitrary, as there were no particularly interesting geographic markers. It was merely dark, the artificial lighting from the city and the docks having virtually no effect on the unmarred flat sand extending in either direction. It was just the two of them, the salty sea air, and the moonlight bathing everything in its soft blue-white glow.

In a way, it reminded Rei of when they had met the night before regionals, isolated from civilization with only towering turbines as witness to their conversation.

This must have been how Rin liked making confessions. But what could Rin possibly have to confess now? Did he have some other secret insecurity he didn’t want to trust with anyone else? Did he need advice?

_Was the illicit photograph originally meant for Rei all along?_

But none of that seemed to fit Rin’s confident expression or the manner in which he unlaced their fingers to wrap his arm around Rei’s shoulders.

“Gorgeous,” he said plainly, staring up at the sky.

And it was. “A half-moon is certainly not half as beautiful,” Rei agreed.

Then, Rin turned to him with a cocky smirk. “I wasn’t talking about the moon.”

Before he had time to fully process what Rin meant by that, Rei’s world tipped horizontal, and the only thing that kept him from collapsing against the sand was Rin’s admittedly very strong arm, which cradled him close enough for a stray lock of red hair to brush his cheek. He wasn’t sure if it was the unexpected loss of balance or the proximity of Rin’s lips to his own that made his heart pound.

“Your eyes are so much more dazzling,” Rin murmured, deep breathy timbre barely above a whisper. “The glasses are cute, but they hide so much of your face.”

Rin’s eyes radiated warmth and practically sparkled as he grasped the leg of Rei’s glasses and lifted them to the top of his head with such a tenderness that it tickled a little, raising a wave of goosebumps down his arms.

“Beautiful _._ ”

As Rin tilted his head, preparing to bridge the distance between their lips, a bright light flooded Rei’s vision. Every contour of Rin’s face, every tiny hair that had worked its way out of his ponytail, and even the smoldering red of his irises glowed angelically, highlighting this magic moment. Rei let his eyes slide shut in anticipation.

And waited.

Nothing happened.

“ _Shit!_ ”

Suddenly, Rei was pulled upright and his glasses quickly fitted back onto his face.

“C’mon, we gotta go!”

Rei, of course, opened his eyes again to see what the fuss was about. The blinding light was still there, bobbing around them and inhibiting his ability to see much else, but the magic was gone and Rin was starting to panic and tug on his arm to get him to follow. Rei did, but only because he didn’t know what else to do, and it would have been impolite to abandon his date.

He didn’t quite _run_ the way Rin was, since his dress shoes weren’t all that forgiving, especially not for maneuvering uphill through several meters of large, irregularly-shaped rocks. Since the light apparently wasn’t his overactive imagination, he stole a glance over his shoulder to at least find out where it was coming from, and out on the water was a small boat with a spotlight still trained on them and following them away from shore. Ahead, Rin was grossly outpacing him and had nearly stumbled his way to the end of the inconvenient rocks.

“Rin-san, wait!”

Rei had only made it about halfway.

His feet hitting the ground at odd angles with little traction from his shoes presented a spectacular challenge. The rough terrain tripped him up more than once, though he never fully lost his balance. It seemed like an eternity before he finally made it out, and Rin was there waiting for him, frantically gesturing for Rei to move faster as if he wouldn’t have if he could’ve.

“Hurry up! We gotta get outta here!”

“I’m _trying!_ You may have noticed that I’m not in the best attire for athletic activities!”

“Well, maybe you _would_ be if you actually dressed casual like you said you would!”

When Rin took off again on solid pavement towards the closest street lamp, which was a lot farther than Rei would have liked, Rei followed at a light jog, although he wasn’t sure why they were still running. The spotlight was gone by then, the authorities pointing it having presumably given up on pursuit.

“I had fully intended to… but that was before Niisan insisted on giving me dating advice!”

Thankfully, Rin then slowed down enough for Rei to comfortably keep up. “Kaede? But why would he give a shit what you’re wearing?”

Of course Rin wouldn’t know. Given Kaede’s athletic prowess and crass attitude, hardly anybody would ever guess.

“Niisan studies fashion design.”

 

* * *

 

 **Sent! (Lil Bro) (21:07)** Dude where ARE you?

 **Sent! (Lil Bro) (21:09)** All the 9 o’clock shows already started so I know your movie is over

 **Sent! (Lil Bro) (21:12)** Srsly are you blowing each other in the bathroom or sthg?

 **Lil Bro (21:13)** Niisan, that is disgusting! We were taking a WALK!

 **Sent! (Lil Bro) (21:14)** Yeah sure. Whenever you’re done “walking” I’ll be waiting in the car

 **Lil Bro (21:16)** We’re 6 blocks away. Rin-san says he knows a shortcut, but it’ll still take a while to get there.

 **Sent! (Lil Bro) (21:17)** You know I could just drop you off at his house. His mom’s out for the night right?

 **Jaws (21:19)** I don’t think you understand. We’re actually on the other side of downtown right now.

 **Jaws (21:20)** And I think Rei has a blister but doesn’t want to admit it

 **Jaws (21:21)** It’d be a lot faster if you just drove down here

 **Jaws (21:21)** Please?

“How the hell did they get way over there?”

“Walking, I guess?” Kaede shrugged the shoulder that Keiko wasn’t laying her head on.

“No shit, Sherlock.” She rolled her eyes and sighed. “I _mean_ how did they get over there between the end of the movie and now? It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes.”

“Walking _really fast_.”

“Jackass.” She slapped him on the thigh but laughed anyway.

His other thigh, she had chosen for her throne while they waited on a bench outside the theater, despite the fact that there was plenty of room for her to sit comfortably beside him. But the position gave Kaede a generous view of her cleavage, so he wasn’t about to complain, and he got the feeling that she had done it on purpose, given how she’d mentioned something in the car about seeing her tits.

 **Sent! (Jaws) (21:24)** Find a spot, tell me where it is and stay there

 **Jaws (21:25)** Gotcha

 **Sent! (Jaws) (21:25)** And also you gotta tell me WTF you dudes are doin b/c I know you didn’t see a damn movie

 **Jaws (21:26)** We’re not doing anything.

 **Sent! (Jaws) (21:27)** Hey don’t lie to me. You disappeared for almost 2 hrs. Sthgs up.

 **Saved as draft (Jaws)** Did my bro take you down a back alley to deflower him?

Keiko gasped dramatically and snatched the phone away. “ _Kaede!_ You can’t _send that_ to him!”

“Aw, c’mon! I’m just messin’ with him.” He made a grab for it, only for Keiko to hide it behind her back.

“That is _so mean_.”

“Hey, if it was your bro off somewhere alone with a dude, you’d be thinking it, too.”

She glared at him for all of two seconds before bursting out laughing. “Nagi-chan doesn’t even _like_ boys.”

Kaede raised an eyebrow. “Are you _sure_ , though.”

“He’s only ever had girlfriends,” Keiko replied unconvincingly.

“Pff. That doesn’t mean anything.” He twisted his arm behind her back, trying to wrestle against her much smaller hands.

It didn’t work.

Then, she stuffed the phone down her bra so fast that he almost didn’t catch it and shot back sarcastically, “What, like you’ve got a special magic bi-dar?” as if she didn’t just publically put her hand between her breasts.

So, _that’s_ how she wanted to play it.

“Well, you know what they say…” He circled his arms around her waist and pulled her in close enough for his lips to brush the shell of her ear. “Takes one to know one.”


	13. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei takes Rin home while Gou and Nagisa start plotting.

“Oh, come on. Really?”

“Kaede, that is _gross_.”

“Well, I think it makes a man more rugged and sexy.”

“No, just gross.”

Keiko and Kaede had been going at it since Rei and Rin entered the car, and there didn’t appear to be an ending in sight.

Braking way too hard at the next stop sign, Kaede turned to Keiko and sputtered, “Wh—what about the guy firing a machine gun out of the back of that van right before the explosion? You said _he_ was sexy!”

Keiko rolled her eyes. “No, I said he had a nice _butt_. There’s a difference.”

“Well… well, what if—” He started wringing his hands at her. “What if you and him were—were about to _do it_ and then you didn’t find out until he got _naked_?!”

With a minute quirk of her eyebrow, she frowned and looked down at her elegantly flexed fingers to examine her nails. “Still no.”

The contents of Rei’s pocket vibrated.

 **Rin-san (21:32)** What the hell are they arguing about?

He shot Rin a suffering look and sighed.

 **Sent! (21:33)** How should I know? I have as much context for this conversation as you do.

“Well, what about _me_ , then?” Kaede whined. “Would you dump _me_ if _I_ —”

“ _Yes_ ,” Keiko insisted before he could finish.

“Okay, you know what?” He shut off the radio and glanced back at Rei and Rin. “What do you guys think? Chest hair on a man: sexy or gross?”

Rin recoiled, curling his lip in disgust. “ _Gross_.”

Kaede knitted his eyebrows and pouted as though he were personally offended. “What about you, bro?”

“I’m afraid I must agree with Rin-san. Hairy chests are unsightly.” And, if Rei were being completely honest with himself, he was more than thankful that Rin shaved.

“Seriously? You, too?” Kaede groaned, letting his forehead drop against the steering wheel.

“See? I told you. You have terrible taste in men.” Keiko grinned smugly and nudged his arm. “You should stick to women. And by women I mean me.”

At that, Kaede perked up. “So, is that your way of saying you want to be _exclus—_ ”

A deafening honk drowned out the rest of his question.

Keiko squinted, tilting her head in perplexity. “What?”

“I _said_ , do you want to be—”

The tow truck driver behind them laid on his horn again.

Kaede slapped the steering wheel and growled. “God fucking—”

Flashing high beams accompanied three more honks.

Teeth bared and nostrils flared hideously, Kaede muttered a series of curses and finally tore out of the intersection. Slapping her knee in unrestrained mirth, Keiko looked every bit like a female version of Nagisa as she cackled hysterically at his indignation.

Or perhaps it would have been more proper to think of Nagisa as a male version of Keiko.

Either way, it gave Rei uncomfortable flashbacks of falling asleep in class.

Beside him, Rin shifted in his seat, his gaze flitting between the back driver’s side window and the back of Kaede’s head. “Um… Kaede-san?”

“What?” Kaede snapped.

“Hey, don’t be _rude_ ,” Keiko chided playfully, snickering behind her hand.

In a fantastic display of maturity, Kaede pulled down one of his eyelids and stuck his tongue out at her, waggling it around like an eel. Then, she swatted his hand away from his face, and it was frankly a wonder they all hadn’t died yet from his horribly distracted driving.

“Kaede-san,” Rin tried again in desperation, patting the driver’s seat to get his attention.

Kaede’s tongue returned to the inside of his mouth and he sighed. “What is it, Jaws?”

“J… _Jaws_ …?” Rin blinked.

“What, you don’t like it?”

The darkness made it difficult to tell, but given his posture and facial expression, Rin was most probably blushing.

“Whatever, it’s fine,” he replied tersely. “But we just passed my house.”

“Seriously?! _Fuck!_ ” Kaede slammed on the brakes.

Fortunately, there were no other moving vehicles on this particular street.

In a half-hearted attempt to conceal her amusement, Keiko clapped a hand over her mouth to smother her giggles. When Kaede glared at her, however, she snorted unattractively, gave up all pretense of caring, and crumpled into his shoulder, shaking with laughter as she slapped an open hand against his thigh.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Nagisa-kun (21:32)** itll b ez! u n me will pay a surprize visit 2 reichan 2mrrw n makochan n haruchan will hav a sleepover w/ rinchan

 **Sent! (21:33)** Wouldn’t it be easier if I just asked him about it when he gets home?

 **Nagisa-kun (21:34)** NO! well hav 2 pry it out of reichan like detectives n then find out rinchans side of the story from makochan

 **Nagisa-kun (21:35)** hes not gonna tell his lil sis about all the juicy stuff he did on his 1st date!

 **Sent! (21:35)** If it’s really all that JUICY, maybe I don’t wanna know about it

 **Nagisa-kun (21:36)** lol theres no way theyre doin THAT

 **Nagisa-kun (21:36)** but even u gotta wonder how it went

Gou sighed.

The house was deathly quiet, save for the occasional chime of her phone, and the only lights left on were the hallway and the lamp on her bedside table. There was nothing on TV, Chigusa was out of town visiting family, and Makoto had yet to answer her text, which left her with… Nagisa. For entertainment.

Because going to bed before midnight on a Friday just felt like such a waste of weekend hours, and why did _she_ have to be only one leftover with nobody to hang out with? It wasn’t unusual for her to be at home alone, of course, with her mom being a nurse and her brother being away at boarding school, but that didn’t mean she had to _like_ it.

She cradled the phone against her chest and stared up at the textured pattern on the ceiling as she lay sprawled out on top of her bedspread, contemplating her options.

If Rin _did_ decide to spend Saturday with Haruka and Makoto, and Nagisa followed through with his plan to show up at Rei’s apartment, that would leave Gou alone once again, this time without even Nagisa for consolation.

Despite the prospect being home alone, however, she still wasn’t nearly desperate enough to consider hanging out with Captain Mikoshiba, even though he would probably say yes to anything she suggested.

She rolled over and frowned, letting her phone flop down next to her on the pillow.

Maybe that was what made him so unappealing. He was fairly handsome and his muscles were almost as impressive as Rin’s, but he seemed too eager to please and just a little too focused on how _cute_ she was to really appreciate the rest of her.

Gou wanted her first boyfriend to like _all_ of her. Even the parts that weren’t cute. Even if it meant waiting until she was out of high school.

Until then, well…

 **Sent! (21:36)** I guess it couldn’t HURT to give Rei-kun a visit…

 **Nagisa-kun (21:37)** itll b gr8, his mom makes awesum cookies

 **Sent! (21:37)** Yeah sounds fun. Text me tomorrow to let me know what time we’re going over there.

 **Nagisa-kun (21:38)** will do (*＾▽＾)／

Gou smiled softly and let her eyes slide shut.

Most of her friends might have started out being her brother’s, but none of that seemed to matter much anymore. If Chigusa was her only close girl friend, so be it. They treated her well enough.

 

* * *

 

 

“You don’t _really_ have to walk me to the door. I’m not a _girl_.”

“But it’s the proper thing to do! And besides…” Rei extended his hand and smiled. “I want to.”

Blushing furiously, Rin turned his head and reached out to gently clasp Rei’s hand. “Fine.”

Rei assisted him out of the car, which required minimal effort as Rin braced his other hand against the seat and pushed himself to his feet. Despite his previous objection, though, Rin seemed perfectly content with remaining hand-in-hand as they approached the house, the thin layer of sweat on his palm becoming more apparent as he intertwined their fingers. It was the slightest bit disgusting, but also a relief to know that Rin wasn’t as cool as he pretended to be.

Once they reached the doorstep, Rin’s slick fingers slipped out of Rei’s hand, and Rin turned to face him.

“So, uh.” He averted his eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear before clearing his throat to continue softly, “I guess this is goodnight.”

“I’m afraid it is,” Rei had to agree, though he sincerely wished that it hadn’t concluded so soon.

“So, yeah. Um,” Rin stammered, his voice wavering about half an octave above his natural pitch. “ _Goodnight._ ” He dipped his head minutely and made a sudden lunge for the doorknob.

“Wait!” Acting purely on instinct, Rei slammed his hand against the door, leaning into it to keep it closed. “What about our goodnight kiss?”

Startled, Rin jerked away from Rei’s sudden personal space invasion. Setting his gaze level with Rei’s sternum, he chewed his lip pensively. “You still want one of those?”

“What? Of course I do!”

_Why wouldn’t he?_

As he briefly pondered this conundrum, Rei realized that his contemplative expression probably looked rather grim. He attempted something more akin to a smile, though with little genuine joy since Rin’s disappointing expectations of him brought his romantic intentions to a screeching halt.

“That is… unless you don’t want to. I won’t force it on you.”

Rin looked up at him then, vulnerable and searching his eyes for the answer to some question God only knew. Whatever it was took him only a split second to find, however, as he quickly searched for something else on the ground, raising his free hand to rub the back of his neck just below his ponytail.

A period of silence stretched between them during which Rei began to fear that Rin was merely stalling for time to think up an excuse at the very last minute to escape Rei’s advances.

All of his worries dissipated, however, when Rin met his gaze again and gave him a shy sort of half-smile, blushing deeply from his hairline down to his collar.

_There were those gastronomical lepidoperae again._

“I would … like to do that. Yes. K–Kissing, I mean.”

In a stark contrast to the uninhibited behavior he displayed on the beach, Rin coughed and fidgeted as though he were waiting for Rei to make the first move.

Which Rei didn’t mind doing.

He’d seen this done in movies and TV dramas before, after all. How hard could it be? Since he and Rin were the same height, there were no logistics to calculate for the difference, either. As for where to put his hands, caressing Rin’s face seemed like an appropriate location for one while the other could easily rest on his waist.

Or would that be too intimate for a first kiss?

He could try circling his hands behind Rin’s neck, but that might feel too restraining for him, and the last thing he wanted was for Rin to feel trapped should he find the kiss unpleasant.

Rin clasped his hands together tightly for a second and then reached out for Rei’s.

That was also an effective option.

Joining hands with Rin, Rei leaned in and closed his eyes.

It started out a feather-light brush of lips against lips, hesitant and chaste in its brevity. Then, Rin pressed into him, and they… just sort of stood there like that for a few seconds, liplocked and motionless.

Rei felt fairly certain that more movement was typically involved in kissing, but his brain’s higher functions had shut down and his heart was pounding against his ribcage and _what else was he supposed to do?!_

As if his first kiss wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, a shrill whistle pierced the cool night air, and the couple was once again bathed in light. Rin startled and pulled away immediately. Rei grudgingly opened his eyes, sighing.

The light began to flash.

“Ye-heahhhh! _Get_ some!”

Rei took one glance over his shoulder and buried his face in his hands.

Halfway hanging out the window, Kaede fistpumped as he flickered the headlights. On the other side, Keiko had a finger and thumb in her mouth in position to whistle again. Which, of course, she did.

Probably loudly enough to disturb the neighbors.

“Niisan!” Rei groaned through his fingers.

And Rin… chuckled. A sweet, soft, sincere sort of laughter that pierced Rei straight through his heart like a Cupid’s arrow.

Much like their first kiss, Rei could only stand there stupefied as Rin pecked him on the lips again, cuing another round of embarrassing cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Expect a sexting omake soon. Also, there's probably going to be some kind of sequel thing.
> 
> [Follow me on Twitter](https://twitter.com/7thRockAlien) for more of my bullshit and updates.


	14. The Ending Scene That Took Me a Year to Write

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all comes full circle.

“Oniichan! What was all that noise outside?”

“Eh, nothing important,” Rin lied as he closed the door behind him.

Somehow, he wasn’t surprised that Gou met him at the door as soon as he walked through it, though she looked tired and disheveled in her pajamas.

Surely, she hadn’t been _sleeping_ the entire time he was gone.

She smiled sweetly, running her fingers through the loose hair spilled over her shoulder. “Did you have a good time?”

“Well, uh…” The jagged rocks around the harbor certainly made for a tough run, but it was almost worth it to see the look on Rei’s face. “I’m not going to forget it any time soon, that’s for sure.”

Suddenly, she rose to her tiptoes to meet Rin at eye level, grabbing him by the shoulders, and demanded, “Did you kiss?!” like she had money riding on it, except for the fact that she was obviously too kindhearted to do something as shady as betting on his love life.

He grabbed her wrists and pried her off. “Yeah, _duh_. Of _course_ we kissed. It was a date, right?”

_Right._

She looked positively starstruck. “Oooo, was it super romantic? How did it happen? Was he a good kisser?”

“It was…” Rin sighed. “I dunno, I’m tired. Can’t we talk about this tomorrow?”

Her giddy smile fell, only to be replaced by ominous determination. “Okay. _Tomorrow._ ”

In truth, though, there was no way in hell he’d be getting any sleep that night.

Not that he didn’t try.

About an hour into staring at his alarm clock, reliving those precious moments of saying goodnight, his phone buzzed and lit up like the light of God in a void of endless darkness.

 **Rei (23:09)** Are you awake?

And there was his angel.

 **Sent! (23:10)** Can’t sleep either huh?

 **Rei (23:10)** I’ve been thinking.

Oh.

That was probably the most universal lead-in to any disappointing conversation ever. Was the kiss really _that_ bad?

 **Rei (23:11)** Our relationship cannot function well if we are not on equal footing. So, I want to give you something to put your mind at ease.

Before Rin could ask what the hell he was talking about, another message arrived with an image attached.

 **Rei (23:12)** You’ve shown me yours, so it is only fair that I also share mine.

Perfectly centered in the shot in crystal clear focus was… a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me two years, but I finally— _FINALLY_ —finished a chapter fic. Sorry the ending is so short, but I tried taking it further and it just refused to coorperate.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting and just generally being awesome throughout this entire experience. I cherish every kudos, pat the screen at every bookmark, and keel over at every comment even if I don't always reply.


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